1 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,638 [Jay] Wow, we really pulled this place together. 2 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,321 Do you think Kenny and Liz will like it? 3 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,351 I hope so. And I hope Liz grams the hell out of this wedding 4 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,061 for her 300,000 followers. 5 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,872 Oh, I know I've made fun of her social media, 6 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,398 but now that it could help us launch our bed-and-breakfast, 7 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,943 we are the ones who are #blessed. 8 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,653 - [Jay chuckles] - Oh, this is lovely! 9 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,863 I hope these nuptials go better than mine. 10 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,407 Elias arrived late, drunk, and smelling of the maid's perfume. 11 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,201 Hetty, why would you marry that guy? 12 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,484 My father needed to close a land deal, and I was deemed his most comely daughter. 13 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,082 Damn Margaret and her mustache. She dodged a bullet. 14 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,417 Hey, you got a minute? 15 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,044 Something I need you to see. 16 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,563 Those are always expensive words to hear. 17 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,214 Oh, Mark, is it bad news? 18 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,632 This could actually be good news. 19 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,968 Well, I'll bring a check for five grand just in case. 20 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,803 No need. I have your card on file now. 21 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,221 Great. 22 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,014 [Mark] So, I was doing some rewiring, 23 00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,451 and when I turned this sconce, I heard a click from that wall. 24 00:00:58,475 --> 00:00:59,560 Check this out. 25 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,436 [Lock clicks] 26 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,600 - [Hetty gasps] - [Creaking] 27 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,400 And that's when I discovered something behind this paneling. 28 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,486 Is it a secret passageway? Don't toy with my emotions, Mark. 29 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,238 It's never a secret passageway. 30 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:13,907 But in this case, it is. 31 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,618 - How about that mislead, babe? - Mark's having fun. 32 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:18,287 Oh! Oh! 33 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,374 - Did you know about this, Hetty? - I did not! 34 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,293 What is down the passageway? 35 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,044 Oh, it's good. 36 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,380 [Jaylaughs] 37 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,383 I don't understand. 38 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,427 So, we just have a bank vault under our house? 39 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,637 Well, you said a robber baron lived here, right? 40 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,682 What? Babe, we might be rich. 41 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,018 Unless, of course, this is a Geraldo situation. 42 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,395 What is Geraldo? 43 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,981 He was this news anchor who did this live TV special 44 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,941 where he opened up a! Capone's vault. 45 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,027 And inside? Bubkes. 46 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,112 Don't get me started on al Capone. 47 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,906 - [Chuckles] That man was clingy. - Can you open it? 48 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,408 Think so. 49 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,868 Course, it'll take a while. 50 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,494 - Won't be cheap. - Mark. 51 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,330 Say the word. Card's on file. 52 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,208 My crooked husband must have built this to embezzle my riches. 53 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,294 Hetty thinks there might be riches inside. 54 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,546 If this thing is filled with gold coins, 55 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,506 I am definitely gonna scrooge mcduck in 'em. 56 00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:13,943 Can one of you walk through the door and see what's in there? 57 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,179 I'll do it. A pinecone trooper's always up for an adventure. 58 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:19,765 - [Grunts] - Peter! 59 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,434 I've never seen that happen before. 60 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,894 Pete bounced off the vault door. 61 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,189 [Gasps] A surface that's impenetrable to ghosts? 62 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,691 I love it when the mythology gets expanded. 63 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,277 Puny Pete must not be strong enough. 64 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,280 Stand back. 65 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,573 [Shouts] 66 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,492 - —[Ghosts exclaim] - [Thorfinn grunts] 67 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,621 Well, this is mysterious. 68 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,624 [Theme music playing] 69 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,755 Hetty, do you have any idea what combination Elias could have used? 70 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,507 Oh, that's a good idea. 71 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,050 Try 0603. 72 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,760 Try 0603. 73 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,137 - It was our anniversary. - [Jay] 0603. 74 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,723 - [Inhales, grunts] Oh, nope. - [Hetty] Okay. 75 00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,642 Fine. Uh, try 1101. 76 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:04,893 1101? 77 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,895 - The maid's birthday. - [Lock clicking] 78 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,647 01. 79 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,691 - [Grunts] - [Door unlocks] 80 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,694 - Oh, yes! - Ah, that is heavy! 81 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,947 [Grunts, exhales] 82 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,740 Okay. 83 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,659 Damn it! 84 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,202 There's nothing in here. 85 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,162 Aw. No riches. 86 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,706 See, now picture this 87 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,958 but with Geraldo having to vamp for two hours. 88 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,042 [Ghost laughs] 89 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:32,003 - Sweet lord, I'm finally free. - [All gasp] 90 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,798 Who are all you people? Hetty! 91 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,718 Elias. How are you not rotting in hell? 92 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,720 Good to see you, too. 93 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,139 The ghost of a robber baron just popped out of our safe. 94 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,849 Hey, where's all your gold, man? 95 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:47,018 Hi! I'm Pete. Nice to meet you. Welcome. 96 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,395 Back, I guess. [Chuckles] 97 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,439 - Welcome back. - Oh, my god. 98 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,149 [Samantha] Is that...? 99 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,110 My corpse? It is. The only thing that kept me company 100 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,946 when I was locked in there for the last 130 years. 101 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,364 Not much of a talker, though. 102 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:00,824 [Doorbell rings] 103 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,410 That must be Kenny and Liz. I'll get it. 104 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,538 Okay. I'll just stay in here with the corpse and all the ghosts. 105 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,165 I was kidding. Sam, please slow down! 106 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,541 Sam! 107 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,335 So, this is where you've been all this time? 108 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,964 Yes. What did you think when I just disappeared? 109 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,424 Didn't you search for me? 110 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,176 You didn't tell anyone about the vault. 111 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,362 I assumed that you ran off with one of your many floozies. 112 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,680 No. The vault maker locked me in here. 113 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,016 - He left me to suffocate. - Oh. 114 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,934 - His wife and I had grown close. - Oh, god. 115 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,687 And when he finished the vault, there was a debate over payment 116 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,039 and the paternity of his son, but... 117 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,733 - Oh. - Wait, all of you are ghosts? 118 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,194 Yeah, bro. We've all died on the property over the years. 119 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,071 Most people go up, but we just stick around for some reason. 120 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,783 Hi. [Chuckles] I am thorfinn. 121 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,160 - I like herring and... - Wonderful. 122 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,996 Now, how do-eth you, madam? 123 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,539 Really? 124 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,542 Mm-mm. Not happening. 125 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:57,088 - [Gasps] Hi! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi! - [Samantha] Hi! 126 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,885 Oh, I am so excited to be here. 127 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,554 I can't believe we're getting married tomorrow. 128 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,473 [Squeals] 129 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,850 Kenny, did you get that? 130 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,602 Oh! Sorry, the phone wasn't ready. 131 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,955 Uh... [sighs] Okay, this is gonna be a big weekend for us, 132 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,708 so I'm gonna need you to have your phone in your hand at all times, okay? 133 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,234 These two seem like a lot. 134 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,652 Oh, so, who's this little guy? 135 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,403 - [Yips] - Oh, this is Rooney, 136 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,988 our rescue that we rescued. 137 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,615 Oh, my god, Rooney. I follow him. 138 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,868 Uh, Rooney's got, like, 30,000 followers. 139 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:27,994 What's a follower? 140 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,080 Well, in the cult, it referred to anyone 141 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,998 who'd gotten the tattoo and slept with Bruce. 142 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,242 Are you guys gonna post any pictures while you're here? 143 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:37,295 Feel free to tag us. #woodstoneb&b. 144 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,548 I absolutely will, 145 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,049 just after the wedding. 146 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,718 Actually on a short social media vacay right now. 147 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,762 - [Rooney yips] - It's part of a brand strategy 148 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,640 to make sure that Liz seems more present for life's big moments. 149 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,933 [Liz] Exactly. 150 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:54,479 Because life is about what happens when the cameras aren't rolling. 151 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,191 - Kenny, did you get that? - Oh, sorry. 152 00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,276 [Chuckles] Damn it. 153 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,486 - Okay, we'll roll it back. - Yeah, yeah. 154 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,073 I still can't believe I didn't ascend into heaven. 155 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:07,576 I paid the church. There was a contract! 156 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,579 Did you pay for me, too, or was it just a solo trip? 157 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,163 I was a little pinched at the time. 158 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,166 The mill workers had unionized, which I put down violently, 159 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,835 but somebody had to pay for that mob. 160 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,169 That is not a great story. 161 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,380 [Trevor] So, you're an actual robber baron. 162 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,340 I mean, you're, like, really rich, right? 163 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:26,011 Let me put it to you this way: I ate meat several times a week. 164 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,346 Well, it's not a lamborghini, but that's very cool. 165 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,891 So, did anyone else from our day stick around as a ghost? 166 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,267 He's gonna ask about the maid. 167 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:36,813 Like, oh, I don't know, say, the maid? Just to name someone randomly. 168 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:40,025 No, she's no longer here, you syphilitic reprobate. 169 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:44,905 First off, everybody fun had syphilis, and I don't appreciate that tone. 170 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,008 Well, then maybe you should go back down to your vault 171 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,175 and talk to your withered corpse. 172 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,451 There it is again. 173 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,202 What happened to my obedient wife? 174 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:54,581 Well, modern women don't just defer to their husbands, Elias, 175 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,434 and I have learned from the living lady of the house 176 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,185 that when she doesn't like something, she says so. 177 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:01,129 Like when Jay spent $500 on action doll. 178 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,672 [Chuckles] Big mistake. 179 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,759 That living lady is a dangerous influence on you 180 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,677 with her newfangled notions. 181 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,347 [Hetty] She and Jay have simply opened my eyes. 182 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,391 They have a respectful marriage, and you were a terrible husband, Elias. 183 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,851 And my least favorite cousin. 184 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,772 I don't have to stand here and listen to another word of this! 185 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:22,150 Look, it's not important, but how hot was this maid? 186 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,072 [Elias grunts] 187 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,992 What kind of servant doesn't move out of the way? 188 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,243 [Sighs] 189 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,579 [Breathing heavily] 190 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,833 You want to go into that room and have sex right now? 191 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,168 I... what? 192 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:43,338 I want you like I've never wanted anyone. 193 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:46,716 Uh, sorry, I'm married. But that was a much-needed confidence boost. 194 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,820 What are you talking about? 195 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:52,013 About you hitting on me just now? 196 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,765 You wish. 197 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,687 Wow. 198 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,939 And this is where it all happens. 199 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:05,819 Wow. The wedding planner was raving about the heritage menu you're doing. 200 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,238 Now, I've never had squab. 201 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,990 What's that like? 202 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,867 I'd say it's like pigeon. It's a lot like pigeon. 203 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,471 Well, I'm really looking forward to seeing what you come up with. 204 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:19,249 [Elias grunts] Oh! Blast it, that hurt. 205 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,836 - [Sighs] - Uh... are you okay? 206 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,629 Yeah. 207 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,216 [Chuckles] I feel real good. 208 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,551 [Chuckles] Oh, great. 209 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,386 Well, i-I'll just show you the sauces. 210 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,055 All I can think about is grabbing your butt. 211 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,146 - What? What is it? What's going on, Jay? - Okay. 212 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,023 I don't know how to tell you this. 213 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,067 - Liz hit on me. - The bride? 214 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,861 Oh, okay. 215 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,822 Wait, what does that mean? You don't believe me? 216 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:54,242 No, it's just... are you sure this isn't, like, an olive garden situation? 217 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,244 Okay, that waitress definitely hit on me. 218 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,746 What is the olive garden? 219 00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,165 It's a restaurant known for its endless breadstick baskets. 220 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,625 - Alberta and sass are here. - Oh, hey. 221 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,462 Endless? How is that even possible? 222 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,145 Jay and I ate there a couple months ago, 223 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,299 and our waitress was refilling our bread basket... 224 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,260 Yeah, and then I said, "no, thank you, or I'll eat 'olive' them." 225 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,888 Olive. Olive garden. [Laughs] 226 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,932 - Tonya laughed for six straight minutes. - Yeah, she works for tips, Jay. 227 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,893 Hey, this is a victory for you. 228 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,896 You have me. You're living Tonya's dream. 229 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,773 Okay, so, what exactly did Liz say? 230 00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:28,026 She said all she could think about was grabbing my butt. 231 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,819 Mm. That little thing? 232 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,530 Wait, seriously? She did hit on you. 233 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:33,948 Thafsinsane. 234 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,593 Do we tell Kenny? Because if we tell Kenny, 235 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,660 then this wedding probably gets called off, right? 236 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,413 Liz was gonna post about it. This was gonna put us on the map. 237 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,998 But we got to tell him, right? 238 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,583 Yes. 239 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,586 Ugh, why do you have to be so damn irresistible? 240 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,005 Sorry. It's a curse. 241 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,549 [Sighs] Hey, guys. 242 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,844 What's wrong, Samantha? 243 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,387 It has been a day. [Sighs] 244 00:09:56,471 --> 00:10:00,141 [Sighs] Tell me about it. I cannot believe Elias is back. 245 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:03,228 Till death do us part. It's right in the vows. 246 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,980 So, why'd you have a bad day, Samantha? 247 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,690 Well, the bride hit on Jay, 248 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,835 and now Kenny's probably gonna call the whole thing off. 249 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,027 -What? —wait, seriously? 250 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,880 Now she's not gonna post pictures of the mansion, 251 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,864 and we're not even gonna get paid for the wedding. 252 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,158 We're, like, this close to defaulting on our loan. 253 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,244 Samantha, what are you saying? 254 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:23,289 Okay, I hadn't told you guys, but if we don't start making money soon, 255 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,999 we could lose the house. 256 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,752 [Gasps] No, you cannot leave us! 257 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,064 Just when I finally learned to look beyond the hideous pants 258 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,674 and see the wonderful person inside the hideous pants. 259 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,843 You think I want to leave? I don't know what to do. 260 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,636 I have it. Solution. 261 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,763 You and small man kill yourselves. 262 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:41,224 Become ghosts. And then we are friends forever. 263 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,987 But they might not actually become ghosts. 264 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,728 Right, that's the problem with that plan. 265 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,232 Hello, all. Get your spatterdashes off my table. 266 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,985 I had it upholstered with the hide of a white rhinoceros 267 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,528 I shot in Kenya. 268 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,446 Oh, my god. Those are extinct now. 269 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,532 Really? We got 'em all? Bully for us. 270 00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:00,577 Man, he is evil. And I used to pillage for a living. 271 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,245 - [Rooney yips] - Oh! 272 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:06,541 That thing ran through my leg. Skin that beast and turn it into a table. 273 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,418 Must everything be a table? 274 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,589 Well, he's really interested in that Teddy bear. 275 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,883 [Thorfinn] Ah! Look at the little guy go. 276 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,635 Good boy. Yes, use your hips. 277 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,180 One walk through you and the dog becomes a sex pervert. 278 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,431 Can't say I'm surprised. 279 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:25,101 Wait. Elias, did you walk through any livings today? 280 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,978 Like the bride, to be specific? 281 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:30,023 Yes, in fact, I did accidentally happen through her. Why? 282 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,817 That's it. That's why Liz hit on Jay. 283 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,903 Your ghost power is that when people—- 284 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,154 or animals, apparently-... 285 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,989 Walk through you, they get horny. 286 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,365 Really? 287 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,202 Okay, I know he's controversial, but that's pretty cool. 288 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,829 - Yeah. - It wasn't Liz's fault at all. 289 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,832 She didn't mean to hit on Jay. I've got to stop Jay telling Kenny. 290 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,211 Well, I hope you're happy. 291 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,171 You nearly ruined this wedding. 292 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:56,341 Those two are hemorrhaging cash. They need this to be a success. 293 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,259 You're saying those livings need this wedding 294 00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:01,095 to go off without a hitch, otherwise they'll be leaving? 295 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:02,619 Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. 296 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,349 Hmm. 297 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,935 Why is he literally twirling his mustache? 298 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,728 It can't be good. 299 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,148 Kenny, hey. 300 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,692 - I've been looking all over for you. - What's up, buddy? 301 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,527 I don't know how to say this. Um... 302 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:19,864 Okay, y-you know how I'm always getting hit on by random women? 303 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,991 Is this about the cheesecake factory waitress? 304 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,827 There's an entire factory dedicated to cheesecake? 305 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,205 - It's as amazing as it sounds. - [Whispers] Wow. 306 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,748 No, it's not about her. 307 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,310 You know, she probably writes "thank you" with the little heart-shaped os 308 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,044 on every receipt. She works for tips. 309 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,047 Uh, Jay. Can I just, uh, grab you for a sec? 310 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,091 Actually, Kenny and I were just about to have 311 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,842 a difficult conversation. 312 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:40,927 We were? 313 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,596 Well, no difficult conversations are needed, 314 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,765 because everything is actually okay. 315 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,600 Oh, hey, it's the monopoly guy. 316 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,143 What are you talking about, Sam? 317 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:52,397 - I'm talking about the fact that... - —[Grunts] Criminy. 318 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,485 - Oh, what are you doing, man? - Just spreading a little love. 319 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,320 Aw, that's sweet. 320 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,906 You two are looking good. 321 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,325 Very good. 322 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,120 Jay? What's going on? 323 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,579 I haven't seen Sam this worked up 324 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,957 since she saw that movie the holiday on TV. 325 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,085 - Sam? - [Grunts] Damnation! 326 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:17,255 You can't just walk through people. It's the greatest pain there is. 327 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,339 Well, actually... 328 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,133 - Yes, yes, we know. - Okay. 329 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,384 Well, hello, you two. 330 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,679 Did you leave the oven on? Or is it just getting... 331 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,347 Hot in here? 332 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,766 Well, enjoy the show. 333 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,310 [Jay] Hey, Kenny, 334 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,273 didn't you say you didn't have a bachelor party? 335 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,815 Well, how about we have a little party right here? 336 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,026 - What? - I could be Cameron Diaz, 337 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,112 and you two could be a couple of Jude laws. 338 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,475 Okay, that was not in the movie. 339 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,810 - [Meows] - [Kenny] What is that? 340 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,408 Did you just meow at me? 341 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,161 What are you doing? What's going on? 342 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:51,039 I don't think I'm tall enough to be Jude law. Liz. Liz. Liz! 343 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,459 [Samantha chuckles softly] 344 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,342 What happened? I feel like I just blacked out. 345 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,630 Me, too. I-I have the strangest urge to watch a Nancy meyers movie. 346 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,549 Kenny? What's happening? 347 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:06,095 These two just propositioned me for a threesome. 348 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,305 They what? 349 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,556 We what? 350 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,768 - It was Elias. - Oh, god. 351 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,354 Uh, there's got to be some kind of misunderstanding. 352 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,774 No. No. Uh, we did proposition Kenny, actually. 353 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,942 - What? - [Jay] Babe. 354 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,694 As a test of your faithfulness. 355 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,447 And guess what. You passed. [Chuckles] 356 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,532 Yep, you passed. Flying colors. 357 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:30,453 I'm sorry, you two tried to have sex with my Kenny 358 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,996 the day before my wedding? 359 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,581 No. No, god, no. 360 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,666 Oh, my god, no, I would not have sex with Kenny. 361 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:39,504 But you guys should definitely have sex with each other. 362 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,881 Okay, this is too weird. 363 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:45,593 Uh, disgusting. We will not be having our wedding here. 364 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,346 No, no, no, don't leave. What about the squab? 365 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,473 - The squab! - [Pete sighs] 366 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,521 You know, a bake sale's a quick way to earn some cash. 367 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,357 Our troop once raised $78 in one week. [Chuckles] 368 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,734 - Thanks, Pete. - What's happening? 369 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,362 The ghosts are pitching ways for us to make money. 370 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,240 - —That's sweet. Any viable ideas? - [Alberta] I have a plan. 371 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,075 But it only works if you have a Tommy gun. 372 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,629 - Not really. - [Trevor] Here's what you do. 373 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,555 You go to New York. You look up this guy I know. 374 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,748 He's gonna double your money. His name, Bernie madoff. 375 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,041 Miracle worker. 376 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,544 I robbed a bank once, if that helps. 377 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,255 - Did I ever tell you guys about that? - —[Ghosts murmuring] 378 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,316 I don't think we're gonna get out of this mess, Sam. 379 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:28,052 We're up to our ears in debt. This house is our only asset. 380 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,456 I think we're gonna have to sell. 381 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:34,267 Aw, are the poors gonna have to leave? That didn't take long. 382 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,436 I'd tell you exactly how long, 383 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,729 but unfortunately this thing doesn't work anymore. 384 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,608 You'd think, for $5,000, it would last into the afterlife. 385 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:47,738 - You spent $5,000 on a watch? - Wait a minute. 386 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,741 If Elias has that valuable timepiece on his ghostly person, 387 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:51,909 that must mean... 388 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,287 The real watch must be on his corpse. 389 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,122 What about a corpse? 390 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,500 Babe, I need you to do me a quick favor. 391 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,755 Yeah, I don't think I can do this. It's looking right at me. 392 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,050 Babe, he's not looking at you. His eyes are little, withered husks. 393 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,404 That is not having the calming effect that you want it to. 394 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,472 Okay. 395 00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:15,475 Okay. Oh. 396 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,561 I know what pocket he kept it in, but I confess, I'm enjoying this. 397 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:19,645 [Chuckles] 398 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:21,731 [Samantha] Guys? 399 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:23,900 - We got it. - [Thorfinn] Yes! 400 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,028 All right! I bet that's worth a pretty penny in today's dollars. 401 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,590 Definitely enough to keep the bank off our backs for a few months. 402 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,656 Take that, bank. 403 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:34,160 Yes, I'm sure the bank will be very hurt that you're making timely payments. 404 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,078 So, this means you're not selling the house? 405 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,538 No, sass, we're staying. 406 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,766 We have a few more months to get the business up and running. 407 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,793 Well, I am very happy about that. 408 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,045 Oh, look, Elias, 409 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,631 another opinion. And nothing you can do about it. 410 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,717 You think this is over? That I'm just going to give up? 411 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,720 As long as I'm here, they will never host a wedding 412 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,597 that I don't turn into an all-out orgy. 413 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,474 So just normal wedding? 414 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,976 And I won't stop there. Whatever they host, 415 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,061 I'll make it horny. 416 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,063 Funeral? Horny. 417 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,689 High tea? Horny. 418 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:07,401 Baptism? Ravenous thrust-fest. 419 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:09,129 Is this starting to sound good to anybody else? 420 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,488 Why are you doing this? 421 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,949 Because I want you livings out of here. 422 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,534 You have corrupted my Hetty. 423 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,411 No! I haven't been corrupted. 424 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,455 I have changed. A little. 425 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,667 For the better, I think. Let's be honest. 426 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,461 Elias, you and I were not good people. 427 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,129 We stole. We exploited. 428 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,382 We profited off of others' misery. 429 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,841 We did have fun. 430 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:35,012 But while you were trapped in that vault, I have been out here, 431 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,681 learning from these people. 432 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:41,310 Learning from alberta to speak my mind and learning from Sam 433 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,187 that the Irish are people, too, apparently. 434 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,439 She says it, but I don't think she believes it. 435 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,024 Yes, I complain about being here, 436 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,944 and yes, I do want to be sucked off more than anything. 437 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:53,447 But these people have taught me how to be a better Hetty. 438 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:58,077 And I say there's hope for you, too, Elias. 439 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,496 You're here for eternity. 440 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,039 Why not use it to change? 441 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,334 I don't need to be a better person. 442 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:09,297 There is no good or evil. That's just a story we tell ourselves. 443 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,715 And I know better. 444 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:16,887 So, Hetty, get this through your tiny, inferior female brain. 445 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:20,308 I will never change. 446 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,604 Well, then, you can go to hell. 447 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,398 - [Hetty gasps] - [Elias grunts] 448 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,983 [All scream] 449 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,570 - [Thorfinn] Whoa! - Oh, my god! 450 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,988 He just went down on us. 451 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,364 I didn't know that could happen. 452 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,092 Yeah, I don't love having to worry about that. 453 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,327 Did I... did I just...? 454 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:42,872 Is that my power, we think? Banishing people to Hades? 455 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,850 Or it was him just yelling he was never gonna change 456 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,476 and basically thumbing his nose at the universe. 457 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,668 That's another possibility. 458 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,211 Well, we should try it out. 459 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,339 - Trevor, go to hell. - [All scream] 460 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,506 Why? Why? Why? 461 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,884 Why? Why would you pick me? What is wrong with you? 462 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:56,969 Guess not. 463 00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,097 - —That was so scary. - Oh, calm down. 464 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:08,648 I mean, this is just a big day in terms of ghost rules. 465 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:09,899 So, the floor opens up, 466 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,902 and this guy falls through right in front of you? 467 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,152 That's incredible. 468 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,363 Well, Jay seems awfully gleeful about this new horror 469 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:16,715 we all have hanging over our heads. 470 00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,241 You got to tell me how it happened. I mean, was it hot? 471 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,911 Was there screaming? Was country music playing? 472 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,454 Well, there was screaming, 473 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,040 but I'm pretty sure that was just from our ghosts. 474 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,541 Thor not scream. 475 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,753 Thor not scared of some silly hole in the ground. [Chuckles] 476 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,839 Because Thor working towards being better person. 477 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,216 [Chuckles] Very open to change. 478 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,010 It all happened so fast. It was, like, this red light, suddenly, 479 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,095 and then whoosh. 480 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,721 Mm! He went down on us. 481 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,407 Alberta, I'm not sure that's the best term—- 482 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,271 what? If that's the term that she wants to use, 483 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,601 then she can do it. 484 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,395 Hello, all. 485 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,397 I'm feeling in a good mood, 486 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,067 so you may all remain on this earthly plane tonight. 487 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,819 [Laughs mockingly] So funny. 488 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,446 Hettyjust came in, joking about trying to send Trevor to hell. 489 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,448 Aw, too soon, Hetty. 490 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,202 Trevor, I told you, I knew it wasn't going to work. 491 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,204 I don't actually have that power. 492 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,539 Or do I? 493 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,374 Thorfinn, you're in my seat. 494 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,543 Moving! Yes. 495 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,798 Wasn't comfortable there, anyways.