1
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,846
Okay. Plug her in.

2
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,556
-[Ghosts exclaiming, laughing]

3
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,682
All right. Wonderful.

4
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,809
Your old gazebo's looking
pretty good, huh, Hetty'?

5
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:22,105
Indeed! Now, get some swans in the lake,
and a couple of giraffes

6
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,650
at a dinner party,
it'll be the gilded age all over again.

7
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,859
They love it, Jay.

8
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,862
Woo—hoo! Two days of sanding,
three coats of paint,

9
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:31,907
but the smiles you claim to see on
your invisible friends' faces

10
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,951
make it all worthwhile.

11
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,970
Hey, should we hang some
Halloween decorations on it?

12
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,287
- Yes.
- Oh, my god, wait.

13
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,081
Halloween? Ghosts!

14
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,625
This is your holiday.
You guys must love Halloween.

15
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,308
- [All grumbling]
- Who's gonna tell her?

16
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,045
We hate Halloween.

17
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,089
- —What'd they say?
- They don't like it.

18
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,382
Okay, that feels off brand.

19
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,718
All hallows Eve mocks us
and belittles our very existence.

20
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,638
People putting sheets over their heads
and pretending to be "ghosts"?

21
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:55,931
I mean, what is that?

22
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,951
Plus, we can't do any of the
fun stuff that livings do.

23
00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:00,185
We can't dress up in costumes,
we can't eat candy.

24
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,354
Can't hook up with a sexy nurse,
or a sexy kitten.

25
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,439
Or sexy Bobby boucher from waterboy.

26
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:07,126
I didn't think it was possible, either,
but this chick pulled it off.

27
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,902
Also, I died on Halloween.

28
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:14,366
At a party at the mansion in 1995.
This is a costume.

29
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,261
I'm actually an accountant
and my name is Mike.

30
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,494
Seriously?

31
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,121
No, I'm 500 years old.

32
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,081
-Come on, Sam. —[Laughs]

33
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,291
Oh, that was a good one.

34
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,959
Huh. Storyteller. It's a gift.

35
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,295
[Theme music playing]

36
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,386
Okay, I get that you guys
don't like Halloween.

37
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,972
But all the kids
dressed up... it's so cute.

38
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,515
Don't get us started on "kids."

39
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,267
Every year on Halloween,

40
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:44,313
my beloved woodstone mansion is defiled
by adolescent hooligans.

41
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,815
[Groans] They throw eggs,
put toilet paper in the trees-...

42
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,233
Been going on for decades.

43
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,502
It's sort of a local tradition,

44
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,606
passed down from delinquent father
to delinquent son.

45
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,031
[Isaac] It's humiliating.
This is our home.

46
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,326
This is where we live
and we're powerless to stop it.

47
00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,410
What's going on?

48
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,222
The ghosts say there's a group of kids
that vandalize the house each Halloween.

49
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,415
Oh, no, no, no. Not on my watch, babe.

50
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:04,625
Guys, don't worry.

51
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,460
Of course. We have them.

52
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,755
We don't have to depend on
some useless old lady to defend the house.

53
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,841
My great-great-granddaughter,
may she rest in peace.

54
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:16,094
That's right. This year we have Samantha
and her virile young husband.

55
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:18,555
They can do battle against
the wayward youths for us.

56
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,682
Jump out of tree and bash their heads!

57
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:23,310
Oh, my god, no.
Nobody's doing battle with anybody.

58
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,686
Jay and I will talk to the kids.

59
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,688
They're probably just messing
with the house

60
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:27,957
'cause a creepy old lady lived there.

61
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,483
She was really creepy. That's true.

62
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,235
Again, my descendant, who just passed.

63
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,446
- We all were there.
- Mm.

64
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,701
[Jay] Ooh, pre-Halloween pics
are coming in on the 'gram.

65
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,387
Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of Carole baskins

66
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,288
hooking up with baby yodas this year.

67
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:46,208
I know it's English,
and yet I gleaned nothing.

68
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,710
Aw, man. Some of our friends
are at a rooftop in Brooklyn.

69
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:51,129
Aw, somebody's got fomo.

70
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,631
What is fomo?

71
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:53,965
Oh, it's "fear of missing out."

72
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,818
Like if you're not invited
to a party or something.

73
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,553
Like when mamie fish
excluded me from her cotillion

74
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,437
because she knew
I had the more comely ankles.

75
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,474
Okay, I know we're
not in the city anymore,

76
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,975
but think of the positives.

77
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:06,103
This is our first Halloween as homeowners.

78
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,272
We're getting trick-or-treaters
and we're still the step brothers.

79
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,400
- Yeah, I guess it's cool.
- —[Laughs]

80
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,503
- Who are the step brothers?
- [Samantha] It's from a movie.

81
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,488
We dress like this every year,
because it's cheap, it's comfortable,

82
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,323
and it doesn't sexually objectify me.

83
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,158
But that's the whole point of Halloween.

84
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,162
- [Doorbell rings]
- Our first trick—or-treaters.

85
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,495
Are you ready?

86
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,874
It's go time.

87
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,336
[Child] Trick or treat.

88
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,131
[Gasps] Aw. He's a little ghostbuster.

89
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,508
- A little what?
- What is ghostbuster?

90
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,177
- Not now.
- Oh, sorry, are we too early?

91
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:43,682
No, no, I was just trying to remember
when the ghostbusters movie came out

92
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:47,269
and it was not now,
so it must have been before.

93
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,812
[Quietly] Nailed it, sweetie.

94
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,607
Uh, ghostbuster,
would you like some candy?

95
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,794
Are you seriously not going to
tell us what a ghostbuster is?

96
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,070
- It's another movie.
- Classic bill Murray.

97
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,674
He plays a scientist who's trying
to sleep with sigourney Weaver

98
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,866
and bust ghosts.

99
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,744
[Ghosts gasp] —bust ghosts?

100
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,538
You want to bust me?

101
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,415
- I bust you!
- [Samantha] Okay.

102
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,978
Thanks for stopping by, enjoy your mounds.
Uh, happy Halloween!

103
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,920
Ghost thing? —ghost thing.

104
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,005
Cool.

105
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,548
[Gasping]

106
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,311
Ooh! We should watch ghostbusters tonight.

107
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,028
You guys will love it, trust me.
Is there a blockbuster around here?

108
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,697
We don't have time
for frivolous entertainment.

109
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:23,972
We must set up sentries.

110
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,515
An attack is nigh.

111
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,226
Okay, take it easy.
We should do shifts or something.

112
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,938
Some of you stand around, keeping lookout,
while I watch a talkie with trev.

113
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,356
Oh, you know what? I'll join you.

114
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,859
What? No! You guys are
the worst army ever.

115
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,944
I never saw it.
It came out the year before I died,

116
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,868
but you know how it is.
Between work and family

117
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,382
and getting shot in the neck
with an arrow...

118
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,949
Fine, fine.

119
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,994
But the rest of us will keep watch
and alert the livings

120
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,330
so they may confront our vandals.

121
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,750
Then bash them on the heads! [Chuckles]

122
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,002
Any chance you change your mind on that?

123
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,295
No?

124
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,797
Okay.

125
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,760
The enemies have arrived.

126
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,179
Jay, Isaac says the enemies have arrived.

127
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,889
Enemies?

128
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,601
You mean these kids out here on the bikes?

129
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,394
[Samantha] Come on!

130
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,900
It's the parents who are at fault.

131
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,028
Properly raised children
would be at home or working in a factory.

132
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,950
That's the evil leader Zack,
his paramour Zoey,

133
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,661
and their very dumb third wheel Robbie.

134
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:30,038
- Dude.
- How do you know so much about these kids?

135
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,808
Last year, they hung out
and split something called

136
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,376
a "hard lemonade"
and we listened in on their conversation.

137
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,086
[Jay] What's up, bro-hams?

138
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,046
Hey, you got some sick cykes, huh?

139
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,923
Thank you, sir.

140
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,883
- I'm sorry, what? Sir?
- Ouch.

141
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,687
Well, we just wanted
to introduce ourselves.

142
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,888
I'm Samantha, this is Jay,
and we're the owners of this house.

143
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,575
So, listen, whatever happened in the past,
it's water under the bridge,

144
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,310
but let's just agree that it ends here.

145
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,455
Yeah, you know, we were actually
planning on egging the place,

146
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,332
but after seeing you guys,
and seeing how cool you are,

147
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,108
it just doesn't feel right anymore.

148
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,485
Hmm. This feels like a trap.

149
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:01,570
Well, thank you.

150
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,613
Anyway, we'll be on our way.

151
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,842
Well, next time, pop on your helmets.
Cool kids wear lids.

152
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,868
They do! Keep it a hundo.

153
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,537
- They seem really nice.
- Very.

154
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,330
See, Isaac? No need for war.

155
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,252
- Attack!
- Egg war!

156
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,629
- —Get 'em!
- [Jay] No! What... no!

157
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,797
[Samantha] That's not fair!

158
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,800
[Zack laughs]

159
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,218
[Samantha grunts]

160
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,053
I hate to say "I told you so."

161
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,180
Wait, no, it's actually quite satisfying.

162
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,766
This is just great.
Our friends are partying on rooftops,

163
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,661
and we're being egged by
the cast of stranger things.

164
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:36,646
We have to do something.
Those kids can't get away with that.

165
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,148
Do something? It's over.

166
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,442
We've just got to get
cleaned up and move on.

167
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,945
Wait, no. Samantha is right.
There must be accountability.

168
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,840
Without repercussions,
these children will never learn.

169
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,033
The ghosts agree.
The kids need consequences.

170
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,618
Come on, babe. What do they know?

171
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,244
Well, for one thing, we were parents.

172
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:54,098
- Well, they were all parents.
- [Sasappis] I'm definitely not a parent.

173
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,790
I don't know why I said "definitely."

174
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,375
I mean, I had sex during my life.

175
00:06:57,459 --> 00:07:00,295
We just have also been around
for such a very long time,

176
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,023
we have observed what works
and what doesn't work

177
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,673
with regard to disciplining children.

178
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,216
So what do you think we should do?

179
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,218
I just told you I think
we should let it go.

180
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,137
I was actually asking the ghosts.

181
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,639
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.

182
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,308
They've been around forever.
We should take advantage of this.

183
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,727
It's like a wise council of elders.

184
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,563
43 times. I had sex 43 times.

185
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,815
A number so specific
it'd be impossible to make up.

186
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,836
You know what I would do, if I were alive
and the telephone had been invented?

187
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,528
- Call their mommies.
- [Hetty] Yes.

188
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,864
Zack's last name is eckenrod
if that helps.

189
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,617
His mother is Meg. She works
at a place called applebee's

190
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,868
as some sort of wench.

191
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,120
They're saying we should call Zack's mom.

192
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,706
They want us to narc? Mm-mm.
Snitches get stitches.

193
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,059
You're only gonna antagonize him.

194
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,668
Or correct his behavior.

195
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,252
[Jay sighs]

196
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,314
Okay, do people think
I'm lying about the sex thing?

197
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,839
'Cause I'm really not lying.

198
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,383
[Thorfinn] Don't worry.

199
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,801
I know you tell truth.

200
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,512
As ghost I watch you many times.

201
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,263
Thank you. Wait, what?

202
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,016
[Alberta] Pause the movie, trev.

203
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,851
- —Pause the movie.
- [Trevor strains]

204
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,395
Paused. Whew.

205
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,939
What the h-e-double hockey sticks
is this movie?

206
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,317
People rounding up ghosts,
keeping them in some contraption.

207
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,528
For what? Till when?

208
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:10,156
I thought venkman was a hero.
He's no hero, he's a war criminal.

209
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,492
Poor slimer's just trying
to live his afterlife,

210
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,786
eating leftover room service
that no one even wants,

211
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,330
and then they vacuum him up
into this tiny little box?

212
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,708
I don't remember it being this disturbing.

213
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,686
Well, you were a living
when you watched it last.

214
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,420
This is a whole new perspective.

215
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,630
Also, why the hell are they all green?

216
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,132
Were they green in life?

217
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,218
I mean, what died and made that ghost?

218
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,990
[Jay] Look, we're not trying
to get anyone in trouble.

219
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,057
But we didn't want to just let it go.

220
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,767
Tell her to deny him supper.

221
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,104
Tell her to do blood eagle,
tear out ribs and lungs.

222
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,189
Zack, apologize to them.

223
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,109
Fine. I'm sorry.

224
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,737
It wasn't nice and I won't do it again.

225
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,155
[Samantha] Thank you, Zack.

226
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,573
Apology accepted.

227
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,700
All right, let's go.

228
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,163
[Ghosts gasp]

229
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,375
- Well, that was subtle.
- That wasn't great.

230
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,503
I told you we were gonna antagonize
the little psychopath.

231
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,672
Maybe he was just messing with us.

232
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,007
Blood eagle get out truth.

233
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:13,762
Or fake confession.
Either way it's still fun.

234
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:18,475
Troops, we all saw the threatening gesture
made by young Zack. [Scoffs]

235
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,687
It doesn't take a military genius,
which I am,

236
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,940
to know that we must be
on guard for a new attack.

237
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,484
We must spread out.

238
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,319
Vast territory to defend.

239
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,820
[Isaac] Yes, that is the rub.

240
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,238
But where?

241
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,657
Where will these rapscallions strike next?

242
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,659
Well, I can tell you an obvious target.

243
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,161
- We're sitting in it.
- [Gasps]

244
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,539
Sasappis is right.
This recently restored grand structure,

245
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,208
all lit up, it's begging to be hit.

246
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,501
Yes, that's right.

247
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,378
We must tell Samantha
to turn these lights off immediately.

248
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,339
This place is a sitting duck.

249
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,801
Thorfinn turn off lights. Easy.

250
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,344
Very good.

251
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,805
[Straining]

252
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,848
- —[Electricity crackling]
- [Crying out]

253
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,578
- [Hetty exclaims]
- Gadzooks, what have you done?

254
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,604
[Hetty screams]

255
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,190
[Isaac] Go, go, go, go, go, go.

256
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,737
Uh-oh.

257
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,697
If anyone has a water power
they're sitting on,

258
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,533
now would be a good time to use it.

259
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,329
[Isaac] Oh, this isn't good.

260
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:24,541
They worked forever on this.
I watched Jay sand for hours,

261
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,085
getting sweatier and sweatier...

262
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,753
Maybe they won't notice.

263
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,756
The livings are not going to be happy.

264
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,592
Well, the good news is there's
nothing they can really do.

265
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,387
We're ghosts. We're impervious
to their worldly punishments.

266
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,680
They could take away our TV.

267
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,307
[Gasps] Wait, no. But there's
a new season of the bake off.

268
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,227
- [Jay] No! No, no, no, no!
- Our gazebo!

269
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,395
[Jay] Oh, my god.

270
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,997
What happened? Did anybody see anything?

271
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,315
Is actually funny story.

272
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,441
It was the kids.

273
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,569
- The kids did it.
- [Jay] I got this.

274
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,823
And that's what happened,
and that's what we all saw.

275
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,867
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

276
00:10:58,950 --> 00:10:59,993
What? What's going on?

277
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,704
They're saying they saw those kids
burn down the gazebo.

278
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,414
I-I can't believe this.

279
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,976
Oh, my god, that kid really
follows through on a threat, doesn't he?

280
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,170
The tiny fiends approached
with malice in their eyes,

281
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,255
their torches held aloft.

282
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,715
They had torches?

283
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:14,924
Those tiny wooden torches.

284
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,862
- Matches, I believe you call them.
- Yes, that's the word I was looking for.

285
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:18,970
Damn my female brain.

286
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,680
This doesn't make any sense.

287
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,807
I mean, they egg, they tp, but arson?

288
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,560
- This is a major escalation.
- [Isaac] And yet it happened.

289
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:28,313
As sad a comment on today's
youth though that may be.

290
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,065
We're gonna have to call the cops.

291
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:34,360
This is officially
the worst Halloween ever.

292
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,612
Fine! I get it.

293
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,780
I took you away from
all those fun parties,

294
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,824
and then I called that kid's mommy,

295
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,619
and now we have no gazebo,
and it's all my fault. I'm sorry, Jay.

296
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,164
[Sighs]

297
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:49,334
Man, I can't believe kids
are capable of this sort of thing.

298
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,169
Didn't kids murder you?

299
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:54,214
That was an accident, I'm pretty sure.

300
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,301
Well, we talked to the kids
and they denied everything.

301
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,888
The kid made a weird throat slash gesture,
and an hour later, the gazebo burned down.

302
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,139
Isn't that pretty damning?

303
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,641
She'd have made a great lawyer

304
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,851
had she not gone into journalism
or been born a woman.

305
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,144
[Officer sue] Okay, look,

306
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,646
this is a small town.

307
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,981
We know these kids,
and frankly, they're bad news.

308
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,734
Nothing like arson before,
but maybe they just snapped.

309
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,737
They did say that you
called their mommies.

310
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,381
Listen, what's gonna happen to these kids?

311
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,075
Eh, we're looking at fines,
maybe community service.

312
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,619
They'll definitely kick Zack
off the basketball team.

313
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,413
Yeah, what these kids
really burned down tonight

314
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,082
was any hope for a bright future.

315
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,500
Oh, boy.

316
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,460
Keep it together, man.

317
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,463
Have you noticed any other
suspicious activity around the house?

318
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,050
. No.

319
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,885
Well, would you mind
showing us to the, uh,

320
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,388
uh, uh... the gazebo?

321
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,223
Sure.

322
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,141
You couldn't remember "gazebo"?

323
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,435
Well, all's well that ends well, um...

324
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,522
Oh, god, I believe it's Sunday.
Pete, I think it's time for food club.

325
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,209
- [Hetty] Where did we leave off last week?
- Thor was talking about COD.

326
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:58,003
Oh, yes, you're right. Absolutely.
It was quite a cliffhanger, if I recall.

327
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,779
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!

328
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,906
Not so fast. [Sniffs]

329
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,617
Something doesn't smell right here.

330
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,744
I think everything smells perfectly fine.

331
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:10,540
Thorfinn, sounds like those kids
are in a lot of trouble.

332
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,125
Do you think they deserve it?

333
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,876
Well, I mean...

334
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,063
- —Of course he thinks they deserve it.
- I didn't ask you.

335
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,589
Spill it, iceberg.
What are you sitting on?

336
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:23,386
Okay! Kids didn't do it. I did.

337
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,470
What?

338
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,724
- Good god, man, that's all it took?
- How did you know?

339
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,726
You date a two-timing
bootlegger for five years,

340
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,369
you learn to tell when someone's lying.

341
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,980
It was an accident. Also, Isaac lie.

342
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,024
Hetty and sass went along.

343
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,442
Sorry.

344
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,943
Law of the sea.

345
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:42,196
The ship goes down, we all perish.

346
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,906
Well, we have to tell Sam.

347
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,618
Look, maybe these kids didn't
commit this particular offense,

348
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,580
but they have been terrorizing
woodstone mansion for years.

349
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,623
We can't just frame them.

350
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,960
- —This goes against everything I stand for.
- Oh, really, Pete?

351
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:59,922
Because from where I'm sitting,
I see a man who for the past 40 years

352
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:03,134
has blathered on about his "troop,"
and things like loyalty.

353
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,136
I mean, you literally have
a loyalty badge.

354
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,766
So we're your troop now.
Your loyalty lies with us.

355
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,603
So what's it gonna be, Pete?
The ghosts or the livings, hmm?

356
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,773
Trevor, back us up.

357
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:21,778
I stand with Pete.

358
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,447
Wait, what? But Pete's
on the side of good.

359
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,948
I mean, the other side.

360
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,535
We spend our days complaining
about how Halloween

361
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,412
makes us out to be evil,

362
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:35,375
and movies paint us to be the villains.

363
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,003
But if we let some kids take the fall
for something that we did,

364
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,882
then aren't we exactly
what they say we are?

365
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,760
And don't we deserve to be busted?

366
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,012
[Alberta] Oh, amen.

367
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,597
[Isaac] Really?

368
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,558
- He's the one doing the right thing?
- I really do feel bad now.

369
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,396
Are you slow-clapping your own speech?

370
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,290
You're damn right I am.
They haven't seen an '805 movie,

371
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,733
and you didn't start it, so I have to.

372
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:11,953
[Laughs]

373
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:14,872
[Cheenng]

374
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,620
[Officer Jim] That's weird.

375
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,253
There's some charred wood over there.

376
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,382
Is that part of the gazebo?
Why would they drag it over there?

377
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,300
Oh, no, no, no. That's our canoe.

378
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,219
Yeah, yeah, we dragged it
up from the lake.

379
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,888
Hold up. You're the folks
that burned down the canoe

380
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,014
a few weeks ago.

381
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,367
I didn't get a good look at you.

382
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:34,642
[Jay] Well, here we are.

383
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:37,311
And now you're claiming that
some kids burned down your gazebo?

384
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,604
Okay, it doesn't look great.

385
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,815
- Yeah, but we're not arsonists.
- No.

386
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:44,026
Although if we were arsonists,
we would definitely deny being arsonists.

387
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,879
'Cause that would...
I'm not gonna talk anymore.

388
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,738
Why would we burn down our own gazebo?

389
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,657
Why would you burn down your own canoe?

390
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,534
- We had zero to do with this.
- Zero.

391
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,786
- This was 100% those kids.
- It was the kids.

392
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,097
And frankly, we're a little offended

393
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,224
that you would even accuse us
of something so heinous.

394
00:15:57,248 --> 00:16:00,751
A quick word if I may, Samantha.
It wasn't the kids. We lied.

395
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,086
We burned down the gazebo.

396
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,213
So, okay. Carry on.

397
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,342
Although actually, it may
not have been the kids.

398
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,594
What?

399
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,488
[Samantha] Yeah,
it's sort of coming to me now.

400
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,389
Gosh, this is embarrassing.

401
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,932
Ma'am, what's going on?

402
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,977
I had a cigarette earlier.

403
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,688
I recently started smoking again.

404
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,857
And I thought I put it out,

405
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,068
but now that I'm thinking about it again,
maybe it wasn't completely out.

406
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,987
And you just remembered this now?

407
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,614
I didn't want Jay to find out.

408
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,657
Uh, then the lies just
sort of started piling up

409
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,635
on top of each other,
and then he called you guys.

410
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,661
Okay, Jim, I think we should wrap this up.

411
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:38,456
Ma'am, if you have any other problems,
please lose our number.

412
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,042
That's more than fair. Thank you.

413
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,294
- Sorry.
- You're smoking?

414
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,129
You should be ashamed of yourself.

415
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,773
Jay, the ghosts burned down the gazebo.

416
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,484
What do you mean the ghosts
burned it down? How?

417
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,135
I don't know, but they are in big trouble.

418
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,471
W-Well, what, can they shoot
lasers out of their eyes?

419
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,680
That would be so cool.

420
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,474
I mean terrifying, but so cool!

421
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,064
Samantha, we want you to know
that we just feel terrible.

422
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,107
Yes. And we would like
to take this opportunity

423
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:08,277
to formally apologize
for this evening's, um,

424
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,571
you know what,
let's call them missteps, shall we?

425
00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,716
Because I think we all learned
a very valuable les...

426
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,283
- Shut it, Isaac.
- Ooh. Yep.

427
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,868
Tonight was unacceptable.

428
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,829
You guys destroyed our property,
then lied about it,

429
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,748
then tried to get children arrested.

430
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,458
You're no wise council of elders.

431
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,461
You know what they are?
They're the children in this scenario.

432
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,546
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.

433
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,381
- Nuh-uh!
- It was Thor. He started it.

434
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,757
[Pete] Just so you know,

435
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,259
not all of us were to blame.

436
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,344
I gave a big speech about
doing the right thing.

437
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,762
- It was very moving.
- Mm-hmm.

438
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,013
Someone started a slow-clap.

439
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,181
I don't want to hear it.

440
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:40,184
You know what children need
when they do something wrong, babe?

441
00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,645
You give them consequences.

442
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,814
That's true, Jay. I like that.

443
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,400
Small man using our own words against us.

444
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:48,763
Not loving where this is headed.

445
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,861
No TV, one week.

446
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,446
- [All gasp]
- But the bake off!

447
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,906
- [Hetty] Oh, no!
- All of us?

448
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,259
- It's football season.
- Come on!

449
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:57,564
- [Ghosts protesting]
- [Pete] You guys did this. Come on!

450
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,790
What's the latest?

451
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,375
Ooh, they left the rooftop,

452
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,628
and now they're at a warehouse party
in the meatpacking district.

453
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,463
Oh, sounds fun.

454
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,842
[Yawns] Yeah. We would've crushed that.

455
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:17,263
Well, without storming off
or yelling and in all sincerity,

456
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,181
I'm sorry you had a lame Halloween.

457
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,310
Yeah, that's the thing, I didn't.

458
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,894
What do you mean?

459
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:28,441
Um, our gazebo got burned down
by ghosts on Halloween,

460
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,776
in front of our haunted house.

461
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:33,738
We by far had the coolest
Halloween of all our friends.

462
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:34,989
Really?

463
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,866
Yeah. When we first
moved here from New York,

464
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:41,162
I thought our lives were gonna be
boring and slow, but after tonight,

465
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:44,874
turns out they're gonna be anything but.

466
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,293
You're okay stuck out here alone with me?

467
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,296
Hell yeah. You're all I need.

468
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,133
You're my stepbrother.

469
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,469
[Samantha] No, you're my stepbrother.

470
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,304
[Hetty] Well, this is just disturbing.

471
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,806
[Alberta] Didn't you marry your cousin?

472
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,521
So, how are the ghosts
taking their punishment?

473
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,107
They're not loving it.

474
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:14,528
Yeah, I wasn't stoked on no TV either,
but it's kind of peaceful.

475
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:15,797
- This is so unfair!
- Oh, come on!

476
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,114
We did nothing wrong!

477
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,992
- I think they've learned their lesson.
- Mm-mm, stay strong.

478
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,994
Maybe we just put on
something educational.

479
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:25,665
[All protesting, clamoring]