1 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,306 Hey! I noticed someone ate all the oreos I bought, 2 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,159 which is crazy because I've had them in the house 3 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,851 for less than 24 hours. 4 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:21,396 I didn't want to say anything, but I think the contractor ate them. 5 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,440 - Liar! He is a liar! - [All exclaiming] 6 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,401 - I watched him eat the whole thing. - Cookie bogarter! 7 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,320 Really? The contractor? 8 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,697 Yeah. And if you want to blow up the renovations 9 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,033 'cause of some cookies, I got your back 100%, 10 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,676 but I think that might be shortsighted. 11 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,829 I witnessed the gluttonous feast. It was unseemly. 12 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,915 There was shame in the man's eyes. 13 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,084 Wait, what are you looking at? Is it the ghosts? 14 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,045 Crumbs everywhere! Why not use plate? 15 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,439 They're telling on me, aren't they? 16 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,258 - You are busted. - [Sighs] This isn't fair. 17 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:52,511 You got a whole team of spies watching my every move. 18 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,263 I mean, they don't tell me everything. 19 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,026 Well, one of the cookies fell to the floor, 20 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,391 after which he ate it. 21 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,935 - Oh, you ate a floor oreo? - Not cool, guys! 22 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,520 Not cool. 23 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,190 I would have called it a "flooreo." That's just my improv training kicking in. 24 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,692 [Laughs] "Flooreo." 25 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,319 I wish I possessed the ability to write that down. 26 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,738 [Theme music playing] 27 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,763 You know, every time I talk to the contractor, 28 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,765 it's like he adds another two weeks to the timeline, 29 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,249 or five grand to the budget. 30 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,768 Well, you know what? Here's an idea. 31 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,472 Next time we see him, let's just run away. 32 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:26,587 Bulletproof plan, babe. 33 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,171 Hi, there. [Laughs] 34 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,923 Oh, who's this? 35 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,174 Henry and Margaret farnsby. 36 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,860 Wealthy next-door neighbors. Total squares. 37 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,821 Henry and Margaret farnsby. Wealthy next-door neighbors. 38 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,864 - Total squares. - Did you just say, "total squares?" 39 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,807 Ghost word. I guess they're uptight. 40 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,518 Yeah, man, they're all like, "rules, yay!" 41 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,103 Oh, butterfly. 42 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,648 I'm Margaret farnsby. This is my husband, Henry. 43 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,233 - Hey. - We've been dying to swing by, 44 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,651 say welcome. 45 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,486 Drop off some of my award-winning cupcakes. 46 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,239 [Henry] First place at the St. Anne's parish bake sale 47 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,616 seven years running. 48 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,284 Not that we like to brag. 49 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,827 He's lying, we love to brag. 50 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,078 [Both laughing] 51 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:03,165 You are so sweet. I'm Samantha, this is Jay. 52 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,292 Fair warning, he's a pretty talented chef himself. 53 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,879 Yeah, might give your cupcakes a run for their money this year, Margaret. 54 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,965 Well, I certainly don't think that would be appreciated. 55 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,676 Oh, no, I was kidding. 56 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,721 - Oh! - [Both laugh] 57 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:21,892 - Our new neighbors are funny. - [Margaret] I love it! 58 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,894 - [Sneezes] - Bless you. 59 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,604 Pardon. Uh, allergies. 60 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,982 [Hetty] Sneezing in public. 80 unladylike. 61 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,610 I told her a nip of cocaine would wipe that hay fever right out, 62 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:32,819 but does she listen? 63 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,363 I'm sorry, did you say cocaine? 64 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,740 Mm-hmm. Everyone knows cocaine's excellent for allergies. 65 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,534 Okay, well, in the 19803 it was a schedule ii narcotic. 66 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,455 Well, Peter, in the 18805 it was a medical wonder drug. 67 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,998 From headache to hysteria, 68 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,043 four out of five barbers prefer cocaine. 69 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:49,795 We heard you're doing some construction, 70 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,171 emphasis on the "heard." 71 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,090 Sorry, it'll just be a little while. 72 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,758 We're fixing the place up. 73 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,321 Yeah, we're gonna turn it into a pretty sick bed-and-breakfast. 74 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,805 - Pretty sick? - No—- oh, sick is like, it's a good thing. 75 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,889 - Yeah. - It's like slang. 76 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,558 Slang and earrings. 77 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,727 [Laughs] That's fun. 78 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,979 I don't love the idea of a "pretty sick" business 79 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,523 adjoining our property. 80 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,335 Well, you know, I think you're just getting caught up on that one phrase. 81 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,253 Well, I don't know if you're aware, but the zoning rules 82 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,697 of our local historical preservation board 83 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,075 require you to seek a permit to operate as a b and b. 84 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,244 Oh, I'm aware. We've applied for all the permits. 85 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,388 Oh, yeah, every single one. 86 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,580 Well, I-I don't see this getting approved. 87 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:28,166 [Laughs] Well, uh, with all due respect, 88 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,043 it's not really up to you. 89 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,920 [Henry] Actually, it is. 90 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,173 You see, I'm the head of the preservation board. 91 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,718 - Enjoy those cupcakes. - [Both laugh] 92 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,429 [Hetty] Oh, I loathe the farnsbys. 93 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:43,390 They've been the woodstone family rivals for generations. 94 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,810 Oh, yeah, their family were also robber barons, right? 95 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,688 Yes, but please don't put us in the same category. 96 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,524 The children that worked in our factories were far happier. 97 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,777 Hey, hey, Henry! Margaret! Wait up, wait up, wait up. 98 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,655 Listen, I-I think you got the wrong impression of us, okay? 99 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:02,701 We're not some young, crazy city folk trying to run a rock 'n' roll hotel. 100 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:03,952 No. We're not even that cool. 101 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,715 I mean, Jay, he plays with action figures. 102 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,557 Well, I don't play with them, 'cause if you play 103 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,665 with them it lowers value. 104 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,083 - See? Not cool. - Okay. 105 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,978 Uh, you know what? Why don't you guys just come over 106 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,754 for dinner tonight, and then you'll see. 107 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:16,131 You'll see, we're just a normal couple. 108 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:20,719 Well, I suppose I wouldn't mind a meal from a professional chef. 109 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,012 Yes, we'd love to come. 110 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,096 Great. 111 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,700 - Already got dessert. - Oh. [Chuckles] 112 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,392 I just want to pet you. 113 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,977 Whee-hee-hee. 114 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,354 So, I'm thinking we go full charm offensive. 115 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,238 We butter them up, and then we reopen the discussion about the b and b. 116 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,650 Mm-hmm. 117 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,653 Oh! This is too much food for just two people. 118 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,739 Wait a minute, are we having a dinner party? 119 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,009 Yeah, we sort of made a bad impression on the neighbors. 120 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,159 Yeah, I know. I was there. 121 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,411 - Oh, Pete just came in. - The arrow guy? 122 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,290 Or the award-winning travel agent or the great dad. 123 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,751 But sure, arrow guy, let's go with that. 124 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,044 So, what time is soup on? 125 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,129 You know, it's kind of a big night for us, 126 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,298 so I was sort of hoping maybe you guys would 127 00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,424 just give us some space. 128 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,676 Uh, yes, sir, Pete, you gots to go. 129 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,429 - No ghosts allowed. - But we love dinner parties. 130 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,474 The smells, the fashions, the banter. [Chuckles] 131 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,267 But sure, there's other stuff we can do. 132 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,644 - Yeah, is that okay? - Yeah. 133 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,371 There's a spider in the attic that's spinning 134 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,772 some pretty interesting stuff. 135 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,083 Oh, and I haven't tried to remember all the Star Trek characters' 136 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,108 names in a bit. 137 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,236 I mean, there's Spock, obviously. 138 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,506 What is she talking about, we can't attend the dinner party? 139 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,824 - Who is coming? - Well, the farnsbys. 140 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,743 All the more reason to have us. They're terrible company. 141 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,246 No, Samantha will be appreciative we're there. 142 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,974 She actually explicitly said she'd appreciate it if we were not there. 143 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:36,628 But there hasn't been a dinner party here in over a decade. This isn't fair. 144 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,547 Ah, I live for dinner parties. 145 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,800 The repartee, the gentle mocking of the hostess 146 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,093 when she leaves the room. 147 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,570 "You call those potatoes, Abigail?" 148 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,721 - —[Laughter] - That kind of thing, you know. 149 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,224 - It's settled. We shall attend. - Yes. 150 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,684 Wait, what are we attending? 151 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,436 Guys, she was really adamant. She does not want us there. 152 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,232 Oh, fine. Then, as a compromise for Samantha, 153 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,569 I shall limit the guest list to me and three ghosts of my choosing. 154 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,195 No, that is not what she wants. 155 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,198 - Wait, why do you get to choose? - [Hetty] Because I built this house. 156 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,884 And that smart aleck question, along with your 157 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,988 incomplete formal attire, leaves you out in the cold. 158 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,453 You can't keep me out. 159 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,498 No, but Thor can, as my muscle and my dear honored guest. 160 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,626 - Yes! Made list! - Congratulations. 161 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,211 The other two attendees shall be... 162 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,755 Alberta and Isaac. 163 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,674 Huzzah! 164 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,843 I had plans, but I'll move some things around. 165 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,929 Okay, this is insane. When I was alive, I threw the party. 166 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,223 I made the par... I was the party. 167 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,934 Hetty, please. I need this. 168 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,979 This sad display certainly made me confident in my decision. 169 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,480 [Scoffs] 170 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,904 Welcome to our humble abode. 171 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,030 Thank you. 172 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:48,033 We brought you a bottle from our private collection. 173 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,703 - Thank you. - Damn, that is some good shh... chardonnay. 174 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,288 Let me show you to the dining room. 175 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:57,626 Presenting neighbors Henry and Margaret farnsby. 176 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,878 - Thor, what are you doing? - Hetty told me to. 177 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,047 Oh, no. 178 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:05,842 Samantha, is this tablecloth a joke? It is for a picnic. 179 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,761 Ooh. What vintage is that? Let me see. 180 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,304 [Gasping] 181 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,431 No... [whimpers softly] 182 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,517 A... woodstone mansion tradition! 183 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,605 [Chuckling] He is so funny. And you are so clumsy. 184 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,148 Service! 185 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,863 So what do you guys do for fun? 186 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,033 You know what we've just recently discovered is pickleball. 187 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,786 - Mm. - Fastest growing sport in america. 188 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,597 - That's true. [Chuckles] - [Thorfinn] Boring! 189 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:38,041 Thor tell better story of time he battled pack of wolves. 190 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,209 - But it's not squash. - No. 191 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,020 - —That's a common misconception. [Chuckles] - Mm-hmm. 192 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,420 She-wolf lunge at Thor. 193 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:45,632 Thor grab she-wolf by neck, gouge eyes and then punch 194 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,676 in genital! [Yells] 195 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,969 - Any other sports. - Mm. 196 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,845 I'm sorry. Is it my drinking? 197 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,013 Am I overdoing it? 198 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,765 I told you, honey, people notice. 199 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:57,394 Oh, no, no, I just had an itch on my neck. If anything, you're not drinking enough. 200 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,521 - Little more? - [Chuckles softly] 201 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,982 Thor! No one at a classy dinner party 202 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,317 wants to hear about you murdering a pack of wolves! 203 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,236 Tell me more about pickleball. 204 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,572 Cammy macgregor, Tyson mcguffin... These are some of the giants of the sport. 205 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,676 - Not literal giants, of course. [Laughs] - [Laughs] 206 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,700 [Laughs] 207 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:16,121 Height is a huge disadvantage in pickleball... 208 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,580 Psst. Hey. Hetty. 209 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,582 Not on the list. Security? 210 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,876 - [Groans] - Because of the height of the net and... 211 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,753 - Sorry. - I'm actually here for Trevor. 212 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,422 The poor guy seems really torn up. 213 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,799 Now, I know Hetty said no, but what do you think, Sam? 214 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,082 [Henry] ...Which is often mispronounced as "bad-mitten." 215 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,553 - [Margaret chuckles] - [Pete] Sam. 216 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,096 Oh, no. Can she not hear us anymore? 217 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,639 - Hey, Sam? - [Henry] No silent n. 218 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,683 - Sam? Sam! - —[Henry] Uh, but, uh... 219 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,226 Enough. 220 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,895 Of sitting around this table. Am I right? 221 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,565 Jay, why don't you take our guests for a tour? 222 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,067 Okay. Yeah. 223 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:50,530 Huh, it's a little bit weird, but... It was an awfully creamy bisque. 224 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,157 [Jay] Just follow me this way 225 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,784 and we'll walk that cream right off. [Chuckles] 226 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,246 Okay, you guys have to behave. 227 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,049 There is a lot riding on this dinner for us. 228 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,207 Like what? 229 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876 Details aren't important. 230 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,045 Maybe we get general area? 231 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,630 Fine. We have to win over the farnsbys 232 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,442 so they give us a permit to open our b and b. 233 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,218 [Gasps] But we don't want the b and b. 234 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,471 I know. That's why I was hiding it from you. 235 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,848 A few guests at a dinner party we can deal with, 236 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:20,435 but a full hotel? My god, that'd be chaos. 237 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,163 Oh, I wasn't thinking it'd be anything like that. 238 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,606 I thought it'd be small and quaint, like the inn on newhart. 239 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,000 Is that what you were thinking, Sam? 240 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,568 I don't know what newhart is, but I like that you're on my side. 241 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:32,113 Really? Delightful sitcom about a stammering innkeeper? 242 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,324 Nothing? It was really popular in the '80s. 243 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,159 I wasn't even alive in the 803, Pete. 244 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,369 Well, I'm not alive now but I still love newhart. 245 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,371 We don't want hotel! 246 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,998 - Absolutely not. - Mm-mm. No. 247 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,459 Well, you should want hotel, because no hotel, no me. 248 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,752 Who helps you watch TV? 249 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,713 Who is writing your memoir? 250 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,132 Well, actually, on that, I do have a few notes. 251 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,094 If we can't build the b and b, we're gonna have to sell this place. 252 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,595 And god knows who would buy it. 253 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,806 Certainly not somebody who can actually see you 254 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,850 and do things for you and help make your afterlives better. 255 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,436 So unless you want to throw all that away, 256 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,687 I'm gonna need your help. 257 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,732 All right. We will help, but it will be begrudgingly. 258 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:10,985 Well? 259 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,863 It was a hard no. You're still not invited. 260 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,324 - Ugh. Bummer. - Come on. 261 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,087 Trevor, you are not taking this well, huh? 262 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:21,287 Okay, look, I never told anyone this, but... 263 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:27,836 In 1999, I was left off the guest list for a fourth of July party on a yacht. 264 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,546 There were Maxim models there. 265 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,005 There was... 266 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,008 A vodka luge that looked like cleavage. 267 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:40,473 And I heard that a guy from bear stearns made out with Natasha henstridge. 268 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:46,437 That could've been me, Pete. That could've been me. 269 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,940 Trevor, I did not understand that story 270 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,776 or the points you were making, but I am so sorry. 271 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,154 Being left out hurts. 272 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,906 One time, my throuple made love without me. 273 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,700 Just the two of them. 274 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,161 How does that even work? 275 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,705 Okay, guys. This isn't over. 276 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,999 If you like ordinance 6.B.12, 277 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:10,086 you are going to love ordinance 6.B.13. 278 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,380 - I'm at the edge of my seat. - Makes two of us. 279 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,673 - [Chuckles] - Oh, gadzooks, 280 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,966 what a couple of iickspittles. 281 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,760 Excuse me, didn't Sam instruct us to clam up our kissers? 282 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,096 Yes. If I can reserve comment 283 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,491 on Sam's whorish lipstick, the rest of you can hold your tongues. 284 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,059 [Henry] ...To smaller lots and... 285 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,937 Uh, everything all right? 286 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:32,609 Yes. H was just checking my makeup, which, if anything, 287 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,944 is conservative by today's standards. 288 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,781 Let's say I want to turn the garage into a man cave. 289 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,701 - Now, that is a very interesting question. - Mm. 290 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,370 Uh, the garage constitutes an existing structure, 291 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,539 the demolition of which is strictly prohibited. 292 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,958 But, uh, making changes to the interior, 293 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:53,171 that only requires permission from the Mrs. Department. 294 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,798 - M.r.s.? - The missus. 295 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,384 -Oh! —[Laughter] 296 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,637 [Laughter continues] 297 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,180 No dinner, no peace! 298 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,141 - No dinner, no peace! - We're crashing the party! 299 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,392 Oh, god, no. 300 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,496 What is the meaning of this showing up to a dinner party uninvited? Thorfinn. 301 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,356 Hey, man, this is a nonviolent protest. 302 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,650 - Not anymore. Come here. - —[Squeaks] 303 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,236 Ooh, that looks yummy. Are you gonna finish smelling that? 304 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:17,838 I'm gonna make you my little farm boy! 305 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,073 Well, if everybody's just doing what they want... 306 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,034 -J' I've had a man... j“ -[Trevor] Thor, you're making them look... 307 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,244 Sam? Sam. 308 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,620 So crazy! [Yells] 309 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,998 Any changes you like to the interior of, uh... 310 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,001 [Shouting] Oh! His teeth are so sharp! 311 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,420 Hallway now! 312 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,422 Jay, can we please meet up in the hallway now? 313 00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:40,051 We need to check the breaker. These lights are acting up. Excuse us. 314 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,136 Yeah. Sorry. 315 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,597 [Samantha] Okay, 316 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,474 I'm gonna put this plainly for all of you. 317 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,686 You need to back off and let us have our dinner party in peace. 318 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,021 Oh, yeah! It's definitely the breaker! 319 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,439 [Hetty] Samantha, I must protest. 320 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,085 We have just as much of a right to attend this dinner party as you. 321 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,027 No. Because this is our house. 322 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,487 We've been here longer than you. 323 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,739 Yeah, and guess what. We're alive. 324 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:02,991 -Igaspingl -hey. 325 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,534 - Alive? [Scoffs] - Ouch. 326 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,161 [Scoffs] Didn't expect you to drop the a-word on us. 327 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,705 Not cool. 328 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,290 She is worse than wolf. 329 00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,125 No, it... it wasn't supposed... 330 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,103 This is not the kind of thing that would ever happen 331 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,920 on newhart. It was gentle humor. 332 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,214 Never at anyone's expense. Never mean. 333 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,049 Unlike some people. 334 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:27,515 And may I just say, your duck was fantastic. 335 00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,892 You may. And you may say it again. 336 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,394 [Laughing] 337 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,479 Jay, I feel terrible about the ghosts. 338 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,923 I know. You'll fix it later, okay? 339 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,482 - Eyes on the prize. - Okay. 340 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,775 Should I open another one? 341 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,987 Ooh! Oh, I don't know. If I let Margie have another glass, 342 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,990 - I might have to leave her here overnight. - Oh. 343 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,157 - Fine with me. - [All laugh] 344 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,700 - Zing. [Laughs] - Ah, ha-ha! 345 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:49,162 Oh, we're having such a good time. This is so fun. And... 346 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,164 And while we're having so much fun, 347 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,250 I was hoping maybe we could revisit that little zoning issue. 348 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,626 Uh, you guys are fun. 349 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,212 - Maybe too much fun? - Excuse me? 350 00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:01,174 This is a quiet community. We like quiet people. 351 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:05,636 The last thing we need is some raucous hotel hosting pool parties 352 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,638 and midnight raves. 353 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,783 That's great, because that's not at all what we're planning. 354 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,934 No, no! We're not even thinking of this as a hotel. 355 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,103 It'll be more like a quaint b and b. 356 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,356 - It's a few guests. It's a few families. - Mm. 357 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,816 It's gonna be very, very wholesome. 358 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,736 - [Snickers] Says Mr. Earrings. - [Chuckles softly] 359 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,196 [Sighs, chuckles] 360 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,532 - It'll be like newhart. - [Gasps softly] 361 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,701 Whoa. 362 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,119 You know newhart? 363 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,704 Yeah. 364 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,290 I guess you could say I know my favorite show. 365 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,185 - I thought it was sex and the city. - [Squeaking] 366 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,794 - Talk about a finale. - Oh. 367 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,630 - Oh. I could. All day. - [Henry] Favorite episode? 368 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,507 - You go first. - Uh... 369 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:46,052 I will. As soon as I go to the bathroom. 370 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,887 And you go. Separately. 371 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,847 - But I know his schedule. [Chuckles] - Mm. 372 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,224 [Jay] Me too. 373 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,850 Uh... yep. 374 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,605 Please, Pete, I need your newhart knowledge. 375 00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:00,483 Is a sentence my wife just said to an invisible person. 376 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,861 I want to help, but I got to stick with my troop on this one. 377 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,238 Please, please, please, please? 378 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,865 Seriously, man? You just told us to get lost. 379 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,410 Now she's begging for reinforcements, 380 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:13,121 like she's William howe at the battle of white plains. 381 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,539 [Laughs] 382 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,625 No? No? No white plains aficionados in the house? 383 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,544 I love white plains. Went to Laurie schender's 384 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,338 bat mitzvah there in '82. Pretty exclusive invite, by the way. 385 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,674 The kid from silver spoons was there. 386 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,552 I feel terrible. I mean, I know it seems like I'm just saying that now 387 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,054 because I need your help, but I felt bad before. 388 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,722 Jay can back me up. 389 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,308 Uh, yep. She felt really bad, people. 390 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,354 - Like that's worth a damn. - These nights are a big deal for us. 391 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,816 It's our chance to feel human again, even if it's only for a few hours. 392 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,444 But after tonight, a lot of us are feeling less alive 393 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,736 than we ever have. 394 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,364 Look, I haven't been around as long as you guys 395 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,658 and, apparently, I still have a lot to learn. 396 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:54,078 Because this isn't my house. 397 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,580 This is our house. 398 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,416 Do you really mean that, Samantha? 399 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,376 I really do. 400 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,752 I take it back. 401 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,129 She less bad than wolf. 402 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,589 [Samantha] Thank you, thorfinn. 403 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,312 And whether you guys want to help or not, 404 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,177 I want you to come back and join us for dessert. 405 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,761 - All of you. - Oh! Yes! 406 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,805 - All right. - T-money back in the game. 407 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,099 Well, I suppose we accept. 408 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,103 Now, something people don't know is that the show's opening credits... 409 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,522 - —[Samantha repeating] - Were filmed in New Hampshire. 410 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,666 Even though, as everyone... 411 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:26,569 Even though, as we all know, the show took place in rural Vermont. 412 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,695 You weren't kidding. 413 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,864 You know your newhart. I am impressed. 414 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:34,535 Most people your age have absolutely no appreciation for classic television. 415 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:38,748 No, and forget about art, wine, cinema, 416 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,416 wine, jazz... 417 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,835 Oh, jazz, we love jazz. 418 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,795 If I had to name my favorite artists... 419 00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,297 Sidney bechet, Fletcher Henderson. 420 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,341 Sidney bechet, Fletcher Henderson. 421 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,593 Louis Armstrong. [Chuckles] 422 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,512 What? You talk, I listen. 423 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,057 Amazing. It is so rare to find someone who has an appreciation 424 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,184 for anything that came before them. 425 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,686 [Hetty] Well, that's the problem with young people today. 426 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,898 - —[Samantha repeating] - Yes. Exactly. Exactly! 427 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,608 - Exacfly. - Exacfly! 428 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,027 - Exacfly. - [Chuckling] Yeah. 429 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,071 Young people are the worst. 430 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,656 [Ahlaugh] 431 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,366 - That was incredible. - Right? 432 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,493 Call me crazy, but this might actually work. 433 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,661 - Mm-hmm. - Wait. 434 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,180 Weren't there a lot more of those before? 435 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,665 - Um... - How many of those have you had today? 436 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,083 Uh, he had at least four. 437 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,293 - One? - Cupcake bogarter. 438 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,796 They're telling on me, aren't they? 439 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,089 I can't live like this. 440 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,841 - I have an idea. - Mm-hmm. 441 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:34,011 How about a morning game of pickleball? 442 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:37,431 - Uh, I don't think so. - Oh, come on, dear. 443 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,725 If we're not going to use the court, then why on earth 444 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,894 did we tear down the carriage house to build it? 445 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,230 Wait, tear down the carriage house? Did you hear that? 446 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,816 Ooh. Coffee and cupcakes. 447 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,835 - Margaret, these look delicious. - [Chuckles softly] 448 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,945 So, just between the four of us... 449 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,506 "And my other brother Darryl." Just say it. 450 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,656 And my other brother Darryl. 451 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,949 -Oh! [Laughs] —[Laughs] 452 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,117 There's got to be 453 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,202 something we can do about this zoning issue, right? 454 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:01,914 Jay, Samantha, I am man enough to admit 455 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,749 when I have missed the Mark. 456 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,167 How 'bout this? 457 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,878 I'll push through the permits. 458 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,256 - Serious? - Oh, my god. That's amazing. 459 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:14,135 In exchange for a small donation to the historical preservation fund. 460 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,053 - Excuse me? - [Chuckles nervously] 461 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,264 How big a small donation? 462 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,225 Well, a suggested donation is $20,000. 463 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,102 Uh, you can make the check out to me. 464 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,395 The scoundrel. 465 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,564 - —So baller. - [Henry] Think it over. 466 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,233 [Chuckles] And, uh, thank you... Here we go, Margaret... 467 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,278 - Mm-hmm. - —uh, for an absolutely wonderful, 468 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,446 wonderful evening. 469 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,849 - [Margaret] We will show ourselves out. - [Henry chuckles] 470 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,908 [Jay] Thank you so much for coming! 471 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,869 I wasted the duck on a total shakedown. 472 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,329 We can't afford $20,000. 473 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,414 - —Uh, Samantha. - What? 474 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:46,208 We've come across some information on the farnsbys. 475 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,796 And the train goes in the tunnel, out the other side. 476 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,174 - Well done, well done. - [Samantha] Hey. 477 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,218 Maybe next time we'll come to your place for pickleball. 478 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,571 - [Both] Oh. - On your home court. 479 00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:01,057 Where the carriage house used to be. 480 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,434 Wait a minute, that would violate ordinance 6.B.13, 481 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:07,063 which says you can't demolish existing structures. 482 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,898 Oh, chardonnay. 483 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,150 - —[Ghosts gasping] - [Alberta] Take that. 484 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,235 - Checkmate. - Your wife is drunk. 485 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,405 Are you trying to use my own ordinances against me? 486 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,367 Oh, no, no, no, no... Yes, that's exactly what we're doing. 487 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,534 - Ooh! - Good for her. 488 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,869 - Mmm. - Spicy lady. 489 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:26,165 Well, this would certainly be an awkward situation 490 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,251 if I hadn't been completely kidding about the donation. 491 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,587 [Forced laughter] 492 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,048 Congratulations on your permit. 493 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,634 - [Chuckles] Come along, Margaret. - [Door opens] 494 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,221 [Samantha] Easy on the stairs. 495 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,515 And we want access to that pickleball court! 496 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,476 - What? Why do we want that? - I don't know. They made it sound fun. 497 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,561 Take that, farnsbys! 498 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,648 Another generation of woodstone prevails. 499 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,860 And that is how we do it in our house. 500 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:58,280 Up top. No, just-just put your hand up. 501 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,157 - —Close enough. - [Chuckles] 502 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,284 Ooh, girl, you throw one hell of a dinner party. 503 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,036 Yeah, maybe next time I'll get invited. 504 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,663 [Hetty] Trevor, listen. 505 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:09,166 Don't you know that to throw a truly exclusive party, 506 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,419 one needs a prominent snub? 507 00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:14,338 Of course. It's like when the blue room wouldn't let Leo in. 508 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,702 That's what put them on the map. 509 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,718 You knew that, in this house, I'm the Leo? 510 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,177 Mm-hmm. You're the Leo. 511 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,804 I'm the Leo. 512 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,931 [Whispers] I'm the Leo. 513 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,349 [Chucang] 514 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,892 I am lying. It was the pants thing. 515 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,855 Well, I guess the ghosts spying on us really came in handy, huh? 516 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,400 Uh, I don't have any personal privacy and I'm terrified to shower, 517 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,461 but, yeah, I guess this time they really came through. 518 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,362 Hey, which one knew so much about newhart? 519 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,614 - Oh, Pete. - Oh! Arrow guy! 520 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,241 Way to hit the target, brother. 521 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,870 "Arrow guy"? Still? Unbelievable!