1 00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:12,221 - Who are you? - We are ghosts. 2 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,306 While most spirits pass on to the afterlife, 3 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,308 we are cursed to spend eternity... 4 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,101 Oh, and she's gone. 5 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,728 Now what's gonna happen to the house? 6 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:20,854 This is huge. 7 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,564 And it's all ours! 8 00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,067 This must be them, the new folks that own the house. 9 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,485 Watch out! 10 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,113 Oh. Oh! 11 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,991 Oh, my god. Sam. Sam! 12 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,118 Seems as if your accident left you so close to death 13 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:38,914 that you somehow gained the ability to actually see dead people. 14 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,291 - They're here. They're all behind you. - Hello! 15 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,544 I don't see anybody. 16 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,104 There's a bunch of zombies down here! 17 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,422 Zombies? Zombies aren't real. 18 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,466 - We're ghosts. - Okay, fine. 19 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,759 I see all of you. 20 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,553 I admit your existence. Happy? 21 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,137 What? 22 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,157 You're not even listening to me. 23 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,901 Babe, you're not listening to me. 24 00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,978 The livings, they are fighting. 25 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,689 Ooh, nothing better than watching a good husband-wife argument. 26 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,983 - What's the beef? - He wants to fix the roof, 27 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,277 and she wants to fix the fountain. 28 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,320 Ah. Home renovation, a classic of the genre. 29 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,614 Shall we go spectate? 30 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,449 I mean, we're literally watching paint dry. 31 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:17,619 These new glosses are fantastic. But, yeah, 32 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,063 fight's probably more interesting. 33 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,793 So, imagine you're a guest driving up to our b and b 34 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,629 and the first thing you see is this giant gleaming fountain. 35 00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:31,133 Look, babe, nobody loves a fancy fountain more than I do, but... 36 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,527 He's gonna pivot back to the roof. 37 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:36,930 I think we need to focus on the bigger picture. Which is the roof. 38 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,491 - Ha-ha! Ding, ding! - Oh! You nailed that! 39 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,766 Please be quiet! 40 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,644 Excuse me, am I not allowed to have an opinion? 41 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,062 I was talking to the ghosts. 42 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,149 Right. Because ghosts are a real thing and my wife talks to them now. 43 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,817 Wait, are they in here? 44 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,236 Yes, they are. And they are very annoying. 45 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,506 - Well, that's uncalled for. - That's a little harsh. 46 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,657 Look, I didn't want to bring this up, but... 47 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,118 I did give in on moving here for you. 48 00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,620 Somebody's playing card of guilt. 49 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:00,704 - Mm. - I gave up my job. 50 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,539 I gave up my friends. 51 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,875 I know, and I appreciate you. 52 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,253 But... we're gonna have to fix the fountain eventually. 53 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,839 And, just so you know, the ghosts agree with me. 54 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,841 She making things up! 55 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,468 -Ruthless. —so hot. 56 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,720 So, shall I talk to the contractor? 57 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,680 Sure. Why not? 58 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,682 - Ooh! Mwah! Mwah! - Ooh. Well. Bravo. 59 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:23,060 Bravo. Well done. 60 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,313 All right. 61 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,648 Love you! 62 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,900 So, back to the paint? 63 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:33,111 - Ooh! I wonder if it dried lighter. - Hmm. 64 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:36,073 Let's go see. 65 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,871 Sam! Quick favor. 66 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,557 Could you look up all the mets scores for me 67 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,291 for the last 37 years? 68 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,436 And I'd like to know how all my stocks performed after I died. 69 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:51,004 My big three were circuit city, enron and blockbuster. 70 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:54,257 This spotify thing, am I on there? 71 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,301 Ooh, I'd love to hear some of my old recordings, 72 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,470 instead of that racket Jay's been listening to. 73 00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,073 Guys, could you just give me a minute? 74 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,824 - I really have to finish this article. - —sam, would love 75 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,077 to smell some pizza. Any chance of you throwing one in the oven? 76 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,852 - I actually already ate. - Yeah, a salad. 77 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,288 What am I supposed to do with that? 78 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,415 - So, again, the mets? - —uh-uh, Pete, you got to take a number. 79 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,209 - You're in line behind us. - Guys. 80 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,127 Just tell me how many rbis Keith Hernandez had in '87. 81 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,796 - Give me something. - At the very least, just, 82 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,464 - like, a piece of toast. - J' do not ignore a woman j“ 83 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,407 - it takes two seconds... - Guys! 84 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:21,243 Guys, I get that it's cool that you have access to a living now, 85 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,453 but you cannot just bombard me with questions all day. 86 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,996 So, why don't you choose 87 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,499 a representative and that person, and that person only, 88 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,167 can come to me with requests? 89 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,770 Well, how are we supposed to pick who does that? 90 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,629 I don't know. Have an election! 91 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,214 You okay, ma'am? 92 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,050 Yeah. Just-just on-on Bluetooth. 93 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,554 And, in summary, do the election. 94 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,182 I don't even know what she pretending to be doing. 95 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,451 There's something with the fountain 96 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,203 - I need to show you and Jay. - Oh, uh, okay. Yeah. 97 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,580 - —That's not gonna be good news. - Yeah, probably should've done the roof. 98 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,772 Shut up, Pete! 99 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,985 - My name is Mark. - Yeah. Course it is. 100 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,489 Bye, Pete. 101 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,176 We were trying to figure out how this thing's fed. 102 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,785 We came across some cast iron piping. 103 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,204 - That'll have to be swapped out. - —that sounds cheap. 104 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,290 But that's not what I needed to show you. 105 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,084 While we were digging, we found this. 106 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,003 Oh, my god! 107 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,212 Is that...? 108 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,380 That's right. 109 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,715 Human remains. 110 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,676 Oh, my god. 111 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,969 - W hat? - Who is that? 112 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,804 - Whoa. - Oh. 113 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,849 Hey. That's me! 114 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:32,230 - Are you sure that's you, Thor? - Yeah, I died right here. 115 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,775 I watched my flesh rot and my bones swallowed by the earth 116 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:38,069 over hundreds of years. Was pretty cool. 117 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,833 Thing is, I got to report it to the county. 118 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,156 - No! - They'll investigate, 119 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,760 and if they declare it a crime scene, the whole site gets shut down. 120 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,264 Project could get delayed for months. 121 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,429 Months? 122 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,996 Months? 123 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,207 What if the bones were really old? 124 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,209 Like, uh... like viking bones? 125 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,462 Just to randomly name some type of really old... bones. 126 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,315 Pretty sure there weren't any vikings around here. 127 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,840 He lies! 128 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,967 - Well, actually... - Here we go. 129 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,695 We sailed down the coast from lands north... 130 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,447 Vikings sailed down the coast from lands north... 131 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,473 - Sent sorties... - Uh, from Canada. 132 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,892 Sent sorties inland to search for furs. 133 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,186 - Beavers, otters, moose. - Beavers, otters, moose. 134 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:14,147 - And when you find moose... - And when you find moose... 135 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,525 Much plenty you shall have. 136 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:17,776 Okay. 137 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,402 She really loves the show vikings. 138 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,656 Well, if it is viking, they'll reach out to the state archaeology department, 139 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,467 they call in the nerds with the toothbrushes. 140 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,992 The whole thing takes longer. 141 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,537 Sorry, guys. But first thing tomorrow, I got to call this in. 142 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:32,040 This is so bad. We cannot afford a months-long delay. 143 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,250 We have loans to repay. 144 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,062 I'll give you a piece of advice my bootlegger boyfriend used to live by: 145 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,755 Get rid of the damn body. 146 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,633 What if the bones just disappeared? 147 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,926 What are you talking about? 148 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,488 Well, what if he came back tomorrow and the bones were just gone? 149 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,312 And then there's no reason to call the county. 150 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,723 No bones, no problem. 151 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,767 Who are you? 152 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,939 While I'm having a moment of lucidity, 153 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,375 can we just go over this one more time? 154 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,985 Sure. Sam wants us to select a ghost representative 155 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,695 to funnel all of our requests through. 156 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,155 Right on. So, now, who is Sam? Am I Sam? 157 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,532 And the moment's passed. 158 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,659 So now we can't even approach Samantha? 159 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,620 That's no way to treat a human being. Who are we, my Butler? 160 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,205 Okay. So I guess we just vote? 161 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,915 - Fine. Let's do it. - Yeah. Great. 162 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,504 Oh, if only it were that simple. 163 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,840 No, my friends, democracy, 164 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,217 though the best form of government, 165 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,177 is a tedious and flawed process. 166 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,722 There will be hours of debate. 167 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,099 Long, boring speeches we'll have to sit through. 168 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:35,854 Or we could dispense with all of that, pick me and be done with it. Mm. 169 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,148 Great. Mazel tov. You win. Done. 170 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,859 Wonderful. You've chosen wisely, my friends. 171 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:44,362 Now it is tradition for the Victor to give some remarks. 172 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,573 Don't worry. I'll keep it to a brisk hour. 173 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,576 - I knew from an early age... - Aw, screw it. 174 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,369 I'm running against this windbag. 175 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,746 Ooh... 176 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,415 Not 'cause I want the gig. I just don't want him to have it. 177 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:58,001 What? This is ridiculous. 178 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,502 You were a singer. 179 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,838 I was at the signing of the declaration of independence. 180 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,132 - —No, you weren't. - I was outside. 181 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,967 They started early. 182 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,929 Point is, I practically invented democracy. 183 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,531 Actually, indigenous governments were the model 184 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,390 for American federalism, so... 185 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,685 But... the electoral college and the powdered wig! 186 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,729 Oh, my! Come on! 187 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,981 Oh, pop some popcorn, 'cause this is about to get good. 188 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,442 We also invented popcorn. You're welcome. 189 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,071 Oh, this can't be legal. 190 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,989 This is a crime. We're committing a crime. 191 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:31,534 It's victimless. The victim is literally here saying it's okay. 192 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,287 - Yeah. It's cool. - So, how did you end up here? 193 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,557 Well, I fell in love with a white girl with a cute, cute butt 194 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,708 and then she inherited a haunted house and then... 195 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,087 - Babe, I'm talking to thorfinn. - Well, it was a long time ago. 196 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:45,840 Seven winters after the battle of svolder. 197 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,677 I was tracking beasts across the land 198 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,804 when a great storm gathered. 199 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,723 But before I could find shelter... 200 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,398 In retrospect, a metal helmet was probably not great idea. 201 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,150 Oh, my god. He was struck by lightning. 202 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,611 What are we gonna do with these? I mean, him. 203 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,989 I mean, you. Sorry to point at you with your own bone. 204 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,325 Viking funeral! 205 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,994 - W hat? - What'd he say? 206 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,414 Every viking boy, from very little, dreams of dying horrifically 207 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,375 and having a most triumphant viking funeral. 208 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,585 It is a very special day. 209 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,589 But Thor... never have one. 210 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,966 He wants a viking funeral. 211 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,427 What, like we shoot a flaming arrow 212 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,928 and burn the bones in a boat? 213 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:35,640 - Yes! Yes! Small man knows. - Yep. 214 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,684 That does sound kind of cool. 215 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,870 And it would be a great way to get rid of the evidence. 216 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,146 I beg of you. 217 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,273 I will forever be in your debt. 218 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,608 It seems really important to him. 219 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,653 - Okay, big guy, then I just have one ask. - Jay. 220 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,448 - Can I shoot the flaming arrow? - I married a nine-year-old. 221 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,532 I like small man. 222 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,617 He is fun. 223 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,537 Yeah, it was crazy. We came downstairs 224 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,205 and we were like, "whoa!" And the... 225 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,582 And the bones, they were just... 226 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,500 - Gone. - Hmm. 227 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,503 So you don't have to call the county anymore, huh? 228 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,131 Which is good. All right. 229 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,466 So they're just gone? 230 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,177 Yeah. Must've been an animal? 231 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,054 Wild dog? 232 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,490 - Y'all got wild dogs out here? - Hey, man, I don't really care. 233 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,154 I didn't want this site shut down either. 234 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,185 That being said, I was talking to a buddy of mine. 235 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,079 He said that if the bones were actually viking, 236 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,772 could be worth a pretty penny. 237 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,024 - Really? - Yeah. 238 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,609 A museum would definitely buy them. 239 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,069 But you don't have them, right? 240 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,446 - Nah. - Huh. 241 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,073 Sucks about those wild dogs. 242 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,206 Sam! 243 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,708 So, can I count on your support, Hetty? 244 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:48,463 Well, I do believe that women should have each other's backs. 245 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,048 - Yes. - No. 246 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,276 But I don't believe that women should be allowed to vote. 247 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,020 - Hmm. - I won't get into the whos and whys, 248 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,554 but it has something to do with overtaxing the female brain. 249 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,223 What the hell? 250 00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,349 Come on, Hetty! 251 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,685 I fully endorse your position, which is why you should vote for me! 252 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,355 Illegitimate though that vote may be! 253 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,360 Okay, so that should be everything. 254 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,821 I found an old canoe out in the boathouse by the pond, 255 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,281 and Jay has been practicing with his arrow. 256 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:19,410 And mead. I will need mead. Watch you and small man drink. Yes. 257 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,287 We don't have any mead. 258 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:24,374 No mead? So what do you drink at your orgies? 259 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,500 Bro, 260 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,127 viking life sounds awesome. 261 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,170 You know, I was wondering, 262 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,214 if funerals are so important in your culture, 263 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,841 how come you never had one? 264 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:36,803 - Told you. Was... alone on a mission. - Yeah, I know. 265 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:41,558 But when you didn't, you know, return, could they not find you or... 266 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,976 Don't interrogate Thor! 267 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,061 Less talk, more brew mead! 268 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,438 What was that all about? 269 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,162 Well, it's a complicated time. 270 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,669 There's obviously a lot of emotion wrapped up with this whole funeral. 271 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,237 Plus, it's been a thousand years since his last orgy. 272 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,407 Big guy's a little pent-up. 273 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,786 You got a sec? It's about your vote. 274 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,288 - Please not this again. - Just... 275 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,539 Let me say my piece. 276 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:08,877 When you were alive, women couldn't vote. 277 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,005 And when I was alive, we got the vote but they ain't make it easy. 278 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:15,800 And for people like me, it was still almost impossible, 279 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,886 because the man didn't want to give up that power. 280 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:22,473 Yeah, and the man tried to make us wear bras and shave our pits. 281 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,934 Drop acid, not bombs! 282 00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,771 Okay. 283 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,315 The point is... 284 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,818 Too many people worked too hard 285 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:37,447 and sacrificed too much for you to just throw this away. 286 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,909 Alberta... 287 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,661 You have my vote. 288 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:44,913 Oh! Yes! 289 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,497 Oh, look at that. 290 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,708 I used my female brain to exercise my rights 291 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,627 and I don't feel the vapors coming on at all. 292 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,295 Wait, hold on. 293 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:53,796 No, I'm good. 294 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,006 - Hey. - Hey. 295 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,507 Are we alone right now? 296 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,301 - Yes. - Okay. Check this out. 297 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,595 Turns out viking bones are actually really rare 298 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,305 and very valuable. 299 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,514 - Really? - Yeah. 300 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,475 I called the natural history museum in Albany, 301 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,353 and they say that if the bones are genuine, they'll buy them. 302 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,437 Well, for how much? 303 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,856 Enough to pay for the fountain and the roof. 304 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,567 And extra money to put a booth in the kitchen 305 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,278 like chip and Joanna did in the last season. 306 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:20,114 The Christmas episode? Empty nesters looking to downsize? 307 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:21,634 - That's what I'm talking about, baby. - Oh. 308 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,868 But I already told thorfinn. 309 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,537 I know. And I wish there was another way, but... 310 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,456 We need the money. 311 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,166 And as much as it pains me to say, 312 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,794 I think we got to sell that big viking's bones. 313 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,045 Ugh. 314 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,421 Okay, you're right. 315 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,967 How you gonna break it to him? 316 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,927 Um, I will figure something out. 317 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,012 This is gonna be great for us. 318 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,347 Ooh, I'm excited. 319 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,350 - Please stop. - Die, little man! 320 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:53,439 So you're saying we get to vote for this ghost representative thing? 321 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,400 Mm-hmm. Oh, absolutely. 322 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,735 You're no different than those of us who live upstairs. 323 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,531 - Not too close, my dear friend. - Wow. No one ever thinks of us. 324 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,408 Oh, but I do. I think of you. 325 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,326 In fact, I will have vivid memories 326 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:08,871 of this conversation for a long, long time. 327 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,456 So, can I count on your vote? Hmm? 328 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,376 I promise, if elected, your voice will be heard. 329 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,520 So... 330 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,712 Um, okay! You know what? 331 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,189 Thank you so much for your support! 332 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,299 I am a man of the people! Good day! 333 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,175 Oh, my god. 334 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,095 Hmm, look at the poor brute. 335 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,596 This is all my fault. 336 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,974 Don't worry. He'll get over it in, like, 50 years. 337 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,494 He might mention a norse curse, but we don't think that's real. 338 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,787 I mean, you know why we did it, right? 339 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,563 It's not like Jay and I had a choice, right? 340 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,815 Sure, sure. Although part of me did wonder if, 341 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,818 in finally getting his funeral, we might see the big oaf get sucked off. 342 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,737 - Excuse me? - Sometimes, 343 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,448 very rare occasions, when a ghost is able to resolve 344 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,826 a long—standing issue, the heavens open up and... 345 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,995 Whoosh, they get sucked off. 346 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,289 Yeah, we all dream of getting sucked off. 347 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,666 A-And that's the term that you guys decided... 348 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,710 Don't tell them. Please? 349 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,128 This is all I have. 350 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,755 Let me get this straight. 351 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,841 So, if we had the funeral, there's a chance that Thor might... 352 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:02,925 Go up? 353 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,111 - —Get sucked off? Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 354 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:07,096 But, again, rarely happens. I've seen it maybe once. 355 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,307 But if it did, we'd never see him again. 356 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,975 Like... ever. 357 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,328 He deserves it though. 358 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,912 Would love to see the big guy get sucked off. 359 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,813 It would be lovely. 360 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,441 Hey, Thor. 361 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,318 We just came in to see how you're doing. 362 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,694 He grunted. 363 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,821 Thor, I'm really sorry about the funeral, 364 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,616 but, listen, uh, we're kind of stretched financially right now. 365 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:31,162 We literally owe thousands of penningars. 366 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,914 I looked up viking money. 367 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,624 - Aw. - Do what you must. 368 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,376 But know this: 369 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:41,130 Jormungandr the midgard serpent will be visiting you in your night sleeps, 370 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,467 and your firstborn child will have head of cabbage. 371 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,094 Okay, are we good? What's he saying? 372 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,428 It's not great. 373 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:51,182 Do you want to know the real reason why I did not get viking funeral? 374 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,768 Why shipmates did not find thorfinn? 375 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,938 Thor never tell anyone this. 376 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,440 The reason why I was wandering here alone 377 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,485 was because... 378 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,654 I was left behind. 379 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,548 They“. 380 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,843 Abandoned me for reasons unknown. 381 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,136 Oh, Thor. 382 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,471 Sam, you stay strong, woman. 383 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,516 And now you 384 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,768 have abandoned me too. 385 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,482 His shipmates abandoned him. 386 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,444 Jay, the ghosts told me that if we help him, 387 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,529 there's a small chance he could get 3... 388 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,322 He could move on to the afterlife. 389 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,452 Sam, we really need the money. 390 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,888 Yes, we could use the money, but we would survive without it. 391 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,497 He's been here a thousand years. 392 00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:59,667 Look, I know he's a ghost. But if we don't help him, 393 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,128 aren't we the real monsters? 394 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,838 Babe, that was so poetic. 395 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,299 - I know, right? - Oh, my... mmm. 396 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,259 Oh... all right. 397 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,303 Fine. Fine. Funeral's back on. 398 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,055 Hey, Thor, buddy. Funeral's back on. 399 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,515 Oh, no, he left the room. 400 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,034 Okay. This is getting really confusing. 401 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,435 We got to work on this. Thor! 402 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,479 - Thor! - Thor! The funeral's on! 403 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,398 Yes! By the fangs of fenrir, 404 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,524 I thank you. 405 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,443 Is he happy? 406 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,320 Yay! 407 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,779 Oh, so about that curse... 408 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,323 Can't be undone. 409 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,034 - Sorry. - What curse? 410 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,037 It gives me great pleasure 411 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,789 to cast the deciding vote for... 412 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,374 Alberta! 413 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,044 Who made me realize that women should vote. 414 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,213 Although I'm still against them going to college. 415 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:49,133 Baby steps. Isaac, you ran a good campaign. 416 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,635 Just not as good as mine. 417 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:56,098 Point of order: I believe not all the votes have been counted. 418 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,309 - Oh, god. - You may have thought 419 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,186 your upstairs votes were all that mattered. 420 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,773 But true democracy leaves no one behind. 421 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,441 And they stand with me. 422 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,193 But not too close. Not too close. 423 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,278 Well, this seems a little underhanded. 424 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,405 Let the coronation proceed. 425 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:12,949 Ooh. Yeah. 426 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,493 We're all voting for creepy dirk. 427 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,956 But that would make him the winner. 428 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,707 So, uh, 429 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:25,503 when do I get to talk to the lady that smells good? 430 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:30,299 Yeah, democracy is broken. It's a flawed system, everyone. 431 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,694 All right. Now, remember, just like we talked about. 432 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,446 - Keep your back straight. - Keep your back straight. 433 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,907 - Mm-hmm. Now pull back slowly but evenly... - Now pull back... 434 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,725 I would take Pete's advice on this with a grain of salt. 435 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,978 Of your index and middle fingers. 436 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,068 Bravo, bravo. 437 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:53,614 Thor wants to thank Samantha and small man for making special day possible. 438 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:57,618 Though, I wish you would have secured mead, but we'll let that go. 439 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,453 - You're welcome, Thor. - Mm-hmm. 440 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:05,001 Sometimes you meet a bro and you're like, "this is a bro..." 441 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,460 I just wanted to say that, 442 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,713 even though neither of us won the election, 443 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,006 you have won my respect. 444 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,465 Where is this going? 445 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:15,052 I resorted to dirty tricks, and you, you inspired people. 446 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,263 That's the Mark of a truly talented politician. 447 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,057 Well, you know, I do have that star quality. 448 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,101 Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you don't. 449 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,020 No, it's a fair critique. 450 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,273 I was never the type the commoners liked to have an ale with. 451 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,483 Those dirty, filthy, ignorant commoners. 452 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:34,155 - Hard to see why they didn't like you. - Agreed. It's a mystery. 453 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,616 Now is typically time when we have orgy. But... 454 00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:40,036 Orgy without mead is... very awkward. 455 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,874 Oh! It's happening! 456 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,293 He is getting sucked off! 457 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,171 By the eye of the all-father! 458 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,547 Valhalla! 459 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,632 Wait! 460 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:55,801 Thorfinn, I love you. 461 00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:58,638 I've always loved you. 462 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,556 Why you wait till now to say this? 463 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,058 So many years wasted! 464 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:06,195 Please extinguish the fire in the middle of the pond! 465 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,856 - You do not have a permit. - Sorry! 466 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,359 Yeah, I'll take care of it right now! Thank you! 467 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,152 Uh... 468 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,783 So, now seems like we have second chance. 469 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,911 You know, I think I kind of got caught up in the moment. 470 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,663 Yeah. Just... 471 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,498 And I don't really want to be tied down. 472 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,625 - Moving on! - Yeah. 473 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,335 -Not in love. —cool, cool. 474 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:32,046 Thank you for doing all this. It really meant a lot to him. 475 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,633 I'm glad. And, um, don't worry about the house and everything. 476 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:39,220 We got a lot to fix up, but we'll figure it out. 477 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,556 - Custom booth would've been nice. - It would've been a game changer. 478 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,559 But I got to say, watching my man fire that arrow... 479 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:46,936 Pretty hot. 480 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,646 Indeed. 481 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:51,273 The fire. The fire is what's hot. 482 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:54,068 As fire is and no one can argue with that. 483 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,530 How are you, big guy? 484 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,240 I am happy. 485 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,034 It was not time for Thor to be sucked off. 486 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:07,665 Shipmates may have abandoned Thor, but... you did not. 487 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,667 And that goes for all of you! 488 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,294 You have never abandoned me. 489 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,506 And for that, I am thankful! 490 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,675 - Thank you. - How could we abandon him? 491 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:18,884 We literally can't leave. 492 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,887 - Shh. Just let him have this. - Okay. 493 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,699 - We would never leave you. - Rejoice! 494 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:36,527 So we'll meet down here once a week to go over the ghost requests. 495 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,778 - Uh-huh. - First request, 496 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,238 this comes from Stuart. 497 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,199 Do you mind if he smells you? 498 00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:43,844 Nope, not doing this. Sorry, guys. 499 00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,661 Aw.